A big dose of Sunshine; 2010 in retrospect

Hmmmnnnn, it’s been a year of mixed Blessings, with its fair share of ups and downs. It’s been crazy and boring and fun and annoying and a whole lot of other thins! I’ve had people tell me I’m a cheeky monkey and were! A friend read one of my blogs once and concluded that I was a ‘very disturbed girl with a nicely put on façade’ (underneath all that grammar wey him talk na were!) and some other reader was like, “Girl, you’re mahdddd!!!!!” ;D and I've had someone else in tears....I’ve had times that I was really high on life and yeah, I’ve taken one-too-many trips into the dumps, buh all in all, I know that I’ve got more to be grateful for this year….

Kicking off the year was me sky-rocketing up the scale of getting the title ‘mother-o-plenni (a few people to jasi will understand just what I mean! *wink*wink*) and all those Youth Church children who used to scream ‘Vision 2010!', mo luv gbo-gbo yin ti e believe in me! Vision 2010 alone was enough to cancel all the minuses of the year!

Then, I finally got to meet my Babies! I remember the long weekend 15-month old Naomi spent with us. I loved every single moment of it, even though I hardly slept (thanks to her kung-fu sleeping, her odd feeding hours and the fact that she loves to sing and chatter in Baby gibberish in the middle of the night! (Yeah, future X-Factor star!!!) and I soooo remember getting to Westminster station an realising that I had to carry the buggy cos there were no lifts linking District with Piccadilly! That was how many levels down?! :(  It was fun anyways having Nai and Peppa-pig around, and you know, she’s a model in the making oh! At that age, she already knows that when you bring your fone close to her face, she has to pose, imagine! The signature smile is cute though! 
My dearest Tomi who thinks all my school books are story books…

Tomi: Aunty Tope, what are you doing?

Aunty Tope: I’m studying.

Tomi: (thoughtful pause) why?!

Aunty Tope: because I have to write exams luv.

Tomi: (laughs) silly you!

Aunty Tope: (in my mind)  If I woz you ehn?!

Tomi: I want you to read this one, it’s whoops! A Daisy Angel! (Iyen Computer Vision mi naa!!!) and this is fireman Sam and Bob the builder and Rorry the racing car…

Aunty Tope: bami gbe iwe mi jooo!!! Don’t worry, it’ll be your turn one day!

In Tomi’s beautiful world, anything printed just has to be a good story otherwise, what’s the point?! I wish!!! L

Every time you tell him it’s time for bed, he remembers he wants to make mummy a surprise! Or he claims the baby is snoring (all the way from the next room!) or declares that sleep is sooooo boring!!! And immediately he wakes up in the morning, “can I open my presents now?!” thank God Christmas has finally come and gone oh!

Wendi: Tomi, it’s time for your medicine.

Tomi: nooooo!!!

Wendi: but it’s not bitter now!

Tomi: It’s pink! Pink’s for girls!!! Silly mommie!

Wendi: ti nba gba eh?!

Tomi: no mommie, Jenny says no spanking! (Jenny is his teacher in nursery) naughty mommie!

Wendi: ati iwo ati Jenny, ti nba mu yin?!

And finally, sweet, little cuddly Ara with his one sided, dimpled smiles! That smile is sure to capture many hearts one day! *wink* Ara might just be 3 months old, buh he sure knows how to pass a message across when he wants something! ;D Whoever said all Babies do is sleep?! and when he does the poo, mehn!!!

I remember the weekend 4 of the girls were together in Erith and Dee Jay looked me up and down and declared I was skinny! Imagine! I reminded her matter of factly that I was fatter than she was and she got that incredulous look on her face! Imagine, she actually thought she was the fatter one! In her mind!!! Tayo, mischievous monkey, had a good laugh at our expense. L we then indignantly asked Philla who the fatter one was and she dismissively told us that it wasn’t a matter of who was fatter but who was skinnier! (why does this scenario feel familiar?!) hello! Does anyone have eyes?! I most def am the FATTER one! That night, Tayo cheekily announced that the ‘thinnest’ person got to sleep in the middle and that it most def wasn’t her (she’d been banished to the much hated middle spot as the ‘aburo’). I think I took the couch! L and just for the record, I’M NOT THE SKINNY ONE!

Then my interesting lecturers in school, there’s the three-coloured man with ginger hair whose eyebrows are white, and his beard brown! plus he's got mannerisms to go with the colour scheme! Then there’s Nicolas Cage’s look alike and the one with the sexy Spanish accent! problem is sexy and  Artificial Intelligence don’t gel at all and I was always struggling to hear him during lectures! L

Sigh! There were so many moments this year….my fairy-tale birthday, the day my car almost packed up on the bridge, the day my fone beeped and I reluctantly tore my eyes away from the novel and the rush I felt when I saw it was a text from him…yay!!!  and Seun went ‘yeah Baby!’ I miss those nights with her, first in VI and then Magodo and our regular greeting: ‘Any gist?’ *wink*wink* and that time I thought it was surely the end of me and I didn’t think I would get out of it, as in the end l’opin cinema…and then You were there, and I think You were there all along, patiently waiting for me…..and the million and one times that I’ve asked myself who sent me message come school oh! and the plenty-plenty mornings I just did not want to get out of bed! Twas probably cos I was just a lazy child who hates mornings (and who simply hates to go to bed as well! I still can’t seem to understand why we should go to bed at night when there’s so much to do and the night’s so quiet and peaceful, beautifully alluring…), or maybe twas cos it was always cold and miserable in the mornings (small wonder the British love to moan and gripe so much and are so good at it!) and I really do not function well in the mornings anyways! and then there were just those mornings I didn’t have the strength to face another day…and that morning I started awake just to find a wall gecko staring at me! The karate jump I did must have made Jackie Chan proud! I soooo don’t miss those creatures and I’ll endure any kinda cold weather just to be away from them! L

There was the tranquillity and serenity, the weightlessness, the floating happy moments, bouts of rib-aching laughter, the bonding, the cold snobbery, the cold aloneness, the slamming doors, the warmth on my skin, the sun kissing my face even on the coldest, grayest days, the void created by missing you and You, the holes, the deep dark holes, the overwhelming sadness, the loss, the despair, the fast, hot tears, the sparks, the bright lights and fireworks, the thin flat lines…all a beautiful mix of colour, of reds and blacks and pinks and greys and whites and blues and yellows and purples, the kaleidoscope that was my 2010….

There were the diaries, loads of them, those of the mad-mahd woman who’s madder than  the mad hatteer, the memoirs of the faceless stranger, Iya-aburo with her million personality disorder, little miss Purdish, outrageous and scandalous Naya...all books I have  read and written and starred in, minds I have explored, abhorred, loved, flirted with, lost me in… I really am not weird, I’m simply inspired!

Remembring

can a person forget how to breathe?
'cos I have, and I'm slowly dying,
painfully, helplessly, without a hope of saving myself

can a person forget how to laugh?
I'm going to have to stop scaring all the neighbourhood children,
...plus the cats too!

can a person forget how to forget?
I can't seem to turn off the scenes
and they keep playing over and over in my head,
like a badly scratched CD.

can a person forget how to remember?
hard as I try, I can't relive the beautiful times,
there isn't even a faint recollection,
not a stir, not a flicker...

can a person forget how to be?
cos I think I'm stuck in limbo,
halfway between a dream and reality

can a person forget how to love?
cos I'm still trying to figure it all out,
I'm still dazed and flummoxed
and can't seem to figure out the why's and how's and when's
...how could you forget that so easilly?!

Gotta keep singing...

These words aren't mine, they're the lyrics of a beautiful song by MercyMe. I love that song so, so much so I decided to put it up here, to remind myself everyday....


Another rainy day,
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain,
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move,
When I don't know what I should do,
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through...

I gotta keep singing,
I gotta keep praising Your Name,
You're the One that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing,
I gotta keep praising Your Name,
That's the only way that I'll find healing

Can I climb up in Your lap,
I don't wanna leave,
Jesus sing over me,
I gotta keep singing

Oh You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing.... 

I've been telling myself for 3 years,
reminding myself,
singing it like a mantra,
that God never makes mistakes,
and I know without a doubt that that is so true,
but truth is,
I still don't understand!
It still feels so wrong! so un-real!
like a big, big mistake
and I'm still struggling to comprehend,
I'm still feeling dazed, still wondering just what the heck is going on!
I still want to scream at someone, demand to know why!
I still want to crawl into a hole
 'cos I feel like there was sumtn I coulda done, shoulda done,
a tiny-big part of me still carries the guilt,
still feels dt sumaw, it's my fault...
I still come up confused,
bewildered,
lost and hollow,
and the scenes still play in my mind like it was just moments ago,
and I so wished I could talk to you,
really need to...
and if given just a tiny-bitty chance,
I would swap places with you....

TYB

A pocket-full of not-nonsense

It's so quiet, the silence is screaming in my head.

Were!

You walk on across the street, avoiding my eyes, averting your gaze, hiding your look of pity but I can read your mind, oh yes I can!

Ah, O ma shey oh!

I don’t need your pity! Who are you to shake your head at me while biting your fingers? You think you’re better off than me or that your fate is any different from mine? Now I’m the one laughing at your madness. Weep for yourselves! Lament about your situations! You’re the ones filled with delusions, you’re the ones who lie to yourselves, who put on masks and go about each day pretending all is well. Now, just who is the mad one I ask!

I miss me!

I miss me so, so much and I just wished this unknown stranger would do and go away! Sometimes I just have flashes of aw it used to be, who I used to be and damn, I miss that silly girl! Hurry up and get your backside back here, you hear? ‘cos with all your weirdness and sillybilities and eccentricities, I still miss you like crazy….but in the meantime, I need to deal with these disillusioned people who think I’ve gone bonkers.

Eleru town-council!

I’m carrying too much baggage and it’s weighing me down. They say this is the first characteristic of a mad woman. I’ve picked up several pieces along the way and each one is important, or so it seems. Well, just because I’m totting these bags around don’t make me mad. At least I’ve got something. Most of these finger-pointers have nothing. They’re just wandering through life aimlessly, without purpose or reason, with nothing to hold on to, nothing to cherish…no wonder they have time to mock me and laugh at me, pschewww! I admit that I have a little too much, time to shed some weight, but I still need my stuff, the things that matter, that makes it all matter…truth about life, that so many fail to see, including the mad-ones-who-call-me-mad, is that we all need some stuff, otherwise we wouldn’t care, would be meaningless, would just drift on…but then don’t take on what’s not yours to carry…some baggage is best left for God to carry…

so, split it all up, like you would sort through the groceries, 

dried rats in one pile, fried fish in another...

Asinwin, agba-were-mesin!

So what else is new? You’ve given me enough names already, a new one makes no difference at all!

Turn out the lights!

Flick the switch,

let the darkness fall,

let it chase away the shadows and the demons lurking around corners,

let it silence the screaming,

soothing, hypnotic, illusory…

..I wish falling asleep was as easy as turning off the lights,

 end this madness in dreamless sleep…

See you beyond the sun...

If tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see the sun rise,
I wish you wouldn't cry,
or think that we're far apart
'cos everytime you think of me,
I'm right there in your heart...

Vertigo

I've been stuck here real long
feeling like I'll never live again, like I'm done in...
but then I decided to listen to You,
shake myself awake, dust myself up,
pick the pieces, back together,
no matter how hard, whatever it took,
but now it seems that every little step I take,
takes me farther away from You....

I miss you so bad.....
....wish things could go back
to how they used to be...

Broken Clockwork

I really wished I could get through to You,
cos it's urgent that I talk to You,
but the lines are jammed!
not even a crackle,
nor a buzz,
no whisper,
no tiny, silent voice at the other end,
no connection,
nothing!
How then do I get You to fix it
'cos it's broken and only You can?!

Heartless

heartless...

warmthless,

smilless,

joyless,

happyless,

funless,

lightless,

fullless,

purposeless,

plentyless,

tenderless,

beautyless,

dreamless,

feelless,

sunless,

loveless,

lifeless

...sometimes, I don’t want to be heartless,

I just come up empty with nothing to give....

Culled from the Secret Diaries of a faceless stranger.

Mary had a 2 - 1 - 1!!!

Was on Bus 211 this morning as usual, hating the cold and wondering for the millionth time who sent me message oh!!! Was settling in for the hour long journey that at first I had hated but fortunately or unfortunately I've become indifferent to, when this lady came on the bus pushing a pram with the cutest little thing in it! Lovely blue eyes, blond pigtails and a beautiful pink coat to complete the picture. She was probably as bored and pissed about the ride and the cold as I was 'cos she kept fidgeting and fussing until her mom gave up and ignored her. But rather than sulk like I did (my bad!) she started to sing. I guess she was bored with having a sweet, meek little lamb, so she decided to get a bus of her very own! So the nursery rhyme became:

Mary had a 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1


Mary had a 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1


Mary had a 2 - 1 - 1....

she paused at this point, probably wondering what to put in. At that moment, our eyes met and we both dissolved in silly giggles! Yeah, you know, I got looks from the other passengers but I really didn't care and neither did she. I felt real good afterwards and the rest of the hour wasn't so bad. Imagine having to learn from a 3 year old how to loosen up and enjoy every moment, even a dreadfully cold ride to school...it was really humbling! So, now, Tipsy's got a 2 - 1 - 1..... :D

I'm sorry....

I’m sorry....

for every time I was too sad to smile, and too indifferent to care,

for the times I didn’t feel like talking and I just wanted to be left alone,
       wanted, needed you to go away,

for all the beautiful memories that the blizzards have dulled,

for the looks I have missed or simply failed to see,

for the times I have been too cold to feel the sparks, too tired to try,

for the times I didn’t believe the words ‘cos I didn’t feel them,
       wouldn’t dare,

for the times I felt like you were judging me and I resented you for it,

everytime I felt I wasn’t good enough, could never be,
       hating you for that,

for the imaginery monsters around every corner, behind every gesture,
       hidden in every word,

for all the blasted trips to the dumps,

for all the times I could have been happy but wasn’t,
       all the times we could have been...

for the times I didn’t think you would understand, didn’t trust you to,

for the times I’ve shut me in my cold walls, and you out...

for the tears I hid from you,

the lies I told to hide the pain, for trying to protect you from it,

for the times I hated me too much for you to love,

for not being what you thought, what you wanted, what you deserve,

for messing this up,

for being too selfish with my misery, not willing to share...

and worst of all,

 for having to end this,

for having to jump...

Miss you loads...

I still miss you so bad,
even dou our relationship was turbulent at that time,
and we were both going tru our own stuff,
trying to sort our way tru lyf...
guess dt makes me miss you even more,
cos I keep wondering if I'd been the best I coulda been back dn,
and sumtymz it makes me feel guilty
cos I dnt realize I was wasitng wt little tym we had left,
was too caught up in my issues dt seem so petty in the lyt of tns now,
sumtymz I feel lyk scum cos I knw u deserved so much to live and I tk lyf 4 granted dn,
I knw if lyf were fair at all, it shoulda been me, not you,
you had so much to live 4, I dnt give two pins, tot I was ovr...
I still wishd we coulda talked, sorted tns out,
be laffing now about aw really silly we were dn,
maybe we would av grown into our friendship by now,
be better sisters, talk about the silly and important tns,
av our little squabbles, share our issues, 'Man' gists, plans, dreams...
I know now dt you'd have had my back during dz bad tyms
and you'd be avn ur smug look now when tns turned out beautiful lyk u'd always said dy wld...
I know 4 sure you wld av liked him so, so much and he wld av been blessed to know you
but I gs God knows best even dou it stl hurts so bad
and I stl wonder why it had to be you
and not me....

The Bells Toll...

He was to ring the Bells for every year of her life.
After the first ring, he paused for a moment after the reverberation ended,
the silence felt so thick he could feel it weighing upon him.
32 times he rang the Bells.
32 times he wept as the silence in-between enveloped him,
Tears for all that would have been but never will,
32 times his heart broke, each time more painful than the last,
32 times it became clearer, with shocking reality,
that it was over,
he would never see her again,
the delicate frame,
the dimpled smiles,
the beautiful hands,
those deep, deep eyes...
he'd lost her forever to the cruel hands of tradition.
For a long time after the Bells finally fell silent,
he simply hung onto the ropes and wept like a child,
only she wasn't there to comfort him.
He knew he would never forget the first day he set eyes on her,
neither would he forget that last day....
Slowly, with his head bowed low, and hie heart hanging even lower,
he inched his way out of the Church yard,
nursing hie heavy heart....

Hmmmnnnn, found this while going tru some pretty old letters. Wrote it way back in year 2000, (SS3 I guess) and twas meant to av been the prologue 4 a friend's book...we never got around to writing the book dou...

...Let us drink to the death of innocence
and the birth of "Maturity".....

Some people see the world tru rose tinted glasses, I fink I'm seeing it tru muddy ones ryt now.  :(

Awful nyt!!!! shld just shut my eyes or count sheep...remembered what Nene Kalu told me way back in Jss 2, "Don't count sheep, talk to The Shepherd..."

Can't sleep! :( So, I'm here, reading a really lousy novel while trying not to think of the million and one worries I've got ryt now...
Question: Why do I write best when I'm in the dumps or close?! Hmmnnn, gotta check dt out later.
So, I'm fighting a trip all the way to the bottom, then 2 silly cockroaches decide to do the kung-fu thang in my room tonyt of all nyts! where'd dy materialize from anywayz?
I hate having to fight at all, but this time, it seems like war! Just when I tink I've won, a bigger foe rears its head! But at the same time, I'm not willing to let go this time cos I want you for keeps so, so bad...so maybe somethings are so worth keeping and so, so worth fighting for....but I'm really getting wearied with this fight...it sure sucks! >:(
I'm so not looking forward to 2mao, (oh, it's today already) and I really wish I had a plan, something sure to work out or better still, I wished this problem didn't exist in the first place!
Gosh! I can see the scheme so clearly and everyone else tinks I'm paranoid! It's so infuriating when no one else sees tru the deceit and then Pink has the guts to gloat, rub it right in! Arrrrggghhhh!!!!!!
Y'all are beginning to annoy me and I'm getting sick to death of all the posts! it's like where ever I turn, I see the preening, gloating face mocking me! Can't you just see that its getting to me?! don't you care as well?! or maybe you've just been fooled by the scheming. I'm not even sure which is worse.
Right now, I just need some peace and quiet, I just want to be spared the whole crappy scenario, I just need to be left alone...but will that peace cost me the one thing I want and cherish the most? maybe I should just get the hell out, for good this time
Then there's the move, or should I say moves, to worry over, plus work sucks real bad and I'm so miserably broke and there doesn't seem to be any light in sight and then I'm back to you and this whole mess...
pleasssssseeee, this is killing me all over again and I can't even talk to you about it.....

Dear God, what do I do now? I was hurt at first, then afraid, numb with the fear, desperate, then came the anger, hot, white, burning anger. Right on its heels was the emptiness, the feeling that no matter what I did, it wouldn't matter, wouldn't help a bit, like feeling your life blood seep out through fingers graping a fatal wound uselessly... Now I'm just tired and I'm not even sure I have the strength to fight, so I guess I'm leaving this fight in Your Hands...dunno what else to fink...it was just meant to be the 3 of us, the Lady, her Lord and her Lover....
...a lousy post for the dumps. Looking on the bright side, there's hope that I don't write my best when depressed. that would av been depressing in itself!

I have a million more reasons to hate you than to love you....
...but I won't give you the power to determine who I am.

Silly Songs we used to sing!

This post is dedicated specially to my friend from way back, Nonye Nnachukwu who loved to call me Zogbese Lisa! (can't remember why). She always had these hillarious songs (goodness knows where she learnt them) and we all had some really goofy times singing them! Nonye, if you ever get to read this, I want to say Thank you! for those beautiful memories...

I like to call this first one 'Family Matters'. You'll find out why soon!
Johnny was a Boy,
About 30 or more,
who wanted to marry a Girl of his own.
He found a pretty Girl,
who suited him fine
and went to his father to seek for advice.
His Father said "Son, I must tell you this,
that is your sister but your Mama don't know!"
Oh what is this?!
Shame has come into the family!
He found another Girl,
who suited him fine
and went to his father to seek for advice.
His father said "Son, I must tell you this,
that is your Auntie but your GrandMa don't know!"

Oh what is this?!

Shame has come into the family!

So, Johnny was a boy with a broken heart,

who still wanted to marry a Girl of his own.

He found another Girl,

who suited him fine

and he went to his mother to seek for advice.

His mother said "Son, I must tell you this,

Papa's not your papa but your papa don't know!"

Oh what is this?!

Shame has come into the family!

So Johnny was a boy,

with a confused head,

so he went to their old Doctor,

to seek for advice.

The Doctor said "Son, I must tell you this,

Mama's not your Mama but your Mama don't know!!!"

Madam Go Home!!!

This next one, we used to act out, kinda like a dance drama and you can't imagine the laughs we got out of that!

The setting is that of a party and there's a couple dancing and having a good time. Someone walks up to them and speaks with the woman:

Madam go home,

your husband is ill!

If he is ill, 

then get him some drugs!

(Her dance partner starts to leave and she calls him back)

No, no, no!!! come back dear friend,

just one more dance,

then I'll go home to my poor husband,

then I'll go home to my poor husband!

Madam go home, 

your husband is worse!

If he is worse,

then get him a nurse!

No, no, no!!! come back dear friend,

just one more dance,

then I'll go home to my poor husband,

then I'll go home to my poor husband!

Madam go home,

your husband is dead!

If he is dead,

there's not much to be done!

No, no, no!!! come back dear friend,

just one more dance,

then I'll go home to my poor husband,

then I'll go home to my poor husband!

Madam go home,

the will is to be read!

(In shock)What did you say?!

I said the will is to be read!!!

(Tearfully) No, no, no!!! No more dear friend,

I can't dance no more,

I must go home to my poor husband,

I must go home to my poor husband!

The Girl Next Door

Jenny was the Girl who lived next door,

about 15 or 16 or more,

she wrote him a note one day,

this is what Jenny had to say:

Johnny, Johnny wait for me,

I'll grow up someday you'll see,

saving my kisses up for you,

signed with love forever more!

Johnny took a trip to the house next door,

to see Jenny and talk to her,

but her tears were like rain that day,

when she heard what he had to say:

Jenny, Jenny please don't cry,

you'll forget me by and by,

you are 15 I'm 25,

Jenny I can't wait for you!

Johnny took a trip from his little home town,

to find a job and settle down,

but his mind kept going back,

to what Jenny had to say:

Johnny, Johnny wait for me,

I'll grow up someday you'll see,

saving my kisses up for you,

signed with love forever more!

So Johnny took a trip back to his little home town,

to find Jenny and talk to her,

but his tears were like rain that day,

when he heard what she had to say:

Johnny, Johnny please don't cry,

you'll forget me by and by,

It's been 6 years since you left,

and I'm married to your best friend Joe!"

Yuck, dunno what to call this one!

Mummy! Mummy!! Mummy!!!

There's something in my nappy,

It's soft and brown!

I can't sit down!

If I sit I'll squash it

and you will have to wash it,

It's soft and brown! 

I can't sit down!!!

Tom Marvolo Riddle - I am Lord Voldermot!!!

I love those books as in... Okay, conclude that mine is a chronic case of a child stuck in an adult's body, it won't change the fact that I love the Harry Porter books! I've read all seven of them over and over and over and I so CAN'T wait for the last movie to hit the cinemas! I really do solemnly declare that I'm up to no good!!!
I'm so sure I've casted all the spells at least once, even the dreaded avdacadabra...just try driving in Lagos, if it's not the okadas, it has to be Lastma!!! lol!!!
Well, Voldermot ain't my favourite character, and just like in the fairytales, you get to fall in love with the prince and hate the dragon. Voldy most def is the dragon here! Thing is, despite all that, he still fascinates me 'cos, as much as I hate to admit it, even to myself, I see a bit of myself in him, especially in his dark fractured soul...
Just like he had split his soul so many times, I feel like a part of  me has been broken up in a dozen pieces or more and much like him, I feel like I'm begining to loose myself in bits. Sometimes, I feel like I'm on the outside, observing too many different people who are all meant to be me and passively, I'm watching me come apart at the seams. I feel torn in too many directions and my mind is constantly being grabbed by so many things that keep demanding my attention. In effect, I'm never really anywhere, I just float above it all like a ghost, nothing seems real, tangible, concrete.
I feel like I've been split too many times (atleast, Voldy stopped at seven) and I think too many people and too many things have taken with them too many pieces of me and too many people and too many things are demanding too jmany pieces more.Now, I don't feel quite right, in fact, I don't feel like anything atall!!! Like Voldy was cold and ruthless and void of human feelings (infact, he stopped being human), I'm feeling void too. I feel like the Tin man with no heart, on his way to Oz to find his heart. or was it to the west? can't really remember! Before I can process one thought fully, another claims my mind and lately, I've been catching myself with half finished thoughts without a clue about how or from where they came about and most def without a conclusion to them!
You don't know how much I wished I was writing about the Pearly Gates and Golden streets with Angels singing Halleluia, and not this - what do I call it?! - but I feel like I'm lost in this dark abys and all I see is darkness. Is this how hell is?! Believe me, you don't want to go there then! This torture of the mind is a million times w2orse than any torture fire can do to the body, it sure beats being stuck in a pit filled with wall geckos! Ahhh...what I would do for a glimpse of Heaven right now...
There is only darkness and confussion here, that is my bitter reality. I am Lord Voldermot



Okay, time to clear things up! Big Yes, I love the Harry Porter books, Bigger Yes, I've read them a million times and would probably do so a million more! Yesssssss I've watched all the movies and so can't wait for the last one. About being anything at all like Voldermot...hmmmnnn...not sure...I'll give it a good think and probably write about it soon, lol!!!

Mind Shifter!!!

The silly Okada guy was making cat-calls at me, lewd ones at that. My mind desperately willed him to stop, not just because he was embarrassing me and was being outright rude, it was more for his own safety. I was beginning to get really angry, which isn’t so hard these days, no matter how much I try not to. I didn’t know which emotion was fiercer, my anger or my fear for him because I knew just what I was capable of doing to him if he pushed me beyond reason. I was a woman crazed enough to want to kill her own mind, God knows what I would have done to him...


Like a person who has told so many lies and wound a web so intricate and complicated that she can’t even remember what the truth was to start with, I’ve been so many different people in this little-big mind of mine and I’m not sure I’m sure what is really me and what is not. Just like the Shape Shifter in Heroes, I’m what you could call a Mind Shifter. All he needs is any part of you carrying your DNA and he’s you! I don’t need no DNA, I can get into your mind and pick just that tiny bit of you, just a wispy fleeting thought, and I can shift and re-arrange my mind, make me think like you, relieve your memories, see your innermost fears and your darkest secrets. In a moment, I can strip you to your core and see right into your very soul.

If I handed you a loaded gun, I know you wouldn’t go off and rob a bank, rather, you would pop that guy she dumped you for. Oh, you didn’t realise that’s what your sub-conscious has been dreaming up? How ironic, I know you even better than you know yourself! If she’d agreed to go out with you, you would have taken what you wanted and done the dumping. Good, I can see you know yourself that much at least! I know about that weekend when you were 13 and you hid all those geckos under your sister’s pillow, I know what you told that guy about his girlfriend, and how you were such a good shoulder to cry on when he broke up with her, I know your brother has that limp because you rigged his bicycle, the bicycle that should have been yours anyway, and that first class, how you really got it is a secret between us, right? I know how much you want that car, you’re even willing to, you know, go the extra mile, you’ve been hacking into her profile on facebook and sending nasty messages to her friends, I know what your first thought was when we first met, I know very well that you still hold a grudge over that guy, all the way back in year two! I know just what you’re thinking right now as you’re reading this....

Alas, just like Sylar, who had been so many people that his body started to get confused and he grew an extra tooth that didn’t belong in his present mouth, I think my mind is beginning to get fractured, cracking up into a million shapeless pieces, reflecting distorted images of who I’m meant to be! Or maybe I got into one wrapped and twisted mind too many! Now I wish I could just tell my mind to shut up and stop jabbering so loud and so fast! I feel like it has developed a million voices and they’re raising a raucous in my not so pretty head! That is until they all suddenly fall silent and there is that deadly, sinister quiet, the quiet in which lie the monsters...

The pop-corn girl at the cinemas was curt with me the other day. I wonder what part of my mind, or rather, which one of them asked her to grab the hot metal popper with her bare hands. I’m sure it wasn’t even the same one that made her keep her tight hold even when the air got filled with the acrid smell of burning flesh and her screams. And the inhuman laughter that filled my head? Who was that? I can’t actually remember making the conscious thought but the pesky guy who was thrusting the pair of jeans in my face at Ojuelegba jumped in front of the moving bus! And the woman selling fish? She started to eat the fish raw. What did she do oh?! Can’t really remember, she must have abused me for pricing the fish too low. I admit that I made him slap her, right there in front of everybody. She shouldn’t have been so smug with me. I was going to tell her I was sorry later, but then I blanked out and the next thing I knew was that she was tearing off her own clothes, right there in front of Jaja! I swear, I didn’t do that, honest! I don’t know what happened! I really didn’t make my aunt pour the boiling water on my cousin, really I didn’t, even though she’s been pissing me off lately! Oh God, what’s happening to me?! I’m not any of this, believe me, I’m the sweet girl next door! All of this, every single thing just isn’t me! I wonder if there’s even still any part of me left!

So, this morning, I jumped on the next bus that passed by, not caring where it was going, I just had to get away from the Okada guy before I... then I noticed the conductor ogling me openly! Before his lips formed the words, I read his mind. Before I completed the thought, he jumped...

The Theory of Relativity

This is no Physics class but...


What exactly is Happiness? Is it the absence of sadness? If it is, then what do you call the feeling you get when you’re not sad but you’re not happy either? You know, when you’re not getting that, what do I call it, bubbly feeling people often associate with happiness? So, what if I’m felling zilch! Nothing! What is it then? How do you define happiness? Does it depend on the absence of sadness or does sadness in turn depend on the absence of happiness? So if I’m not sad, does it mean I’m happy? What if I’m just a little sad even though I’m happy? Does the presence of that little sadness cancel out the happiness or does the happiness cancel out the sadness? Is there anything like sitting on the fence, like being equally sad and happy at the same time? How do I know that I am truly happy or even extremely sad?!

What if I don’t like the girl next door, does it then mean that I dislike her? Isn’t it possible to ‘not like’ her without disliking her? If I don’t really enjoy hanging out with her or can’t call her my pall, then I guess that means I don’t like her, or rather, I ‘not-like’ her, it doesn’t mean I dislike her as in can’t stand the sight of her or feel like screaming when she laughs! So, what name do I call this emotion, this ‘not liking’ without ‘disliking’ my neighbour?!

So, you say I’m fat, well you’re skinny!!! But then, the pretty gal in our class is so NOT fat, but I can’t call her skinny! So what is she? Slim, you say, so define slim. You say slim is not so fat and not so slim, but what makes me fat? ‘cos I’m not skinny?! Okay, so the skinny girl had a little-big tummy! So what does that make her? And the fat boy had spindly legs! Hmmmnnn, she’s a size 14 but has a perfectly flat tummy and a shape to die for! Well me, I’m not fat!!!! How dare you call me that?! Even if I try to console myself with the fact that I’m a size 8, I bet Victoria Becham would consider me fat! Who set the rules anyway?! Touchy topic, let’s just leave it there!

What exactly does it mean to be rich? Does it mean not being poor? Or does it just mean having enough to live comfortably? In that case, what then is the definition of ‘enough’ or ‘comfortable’? does it stop at having 1 car each for you and your wife plus a duplex big enough for each of the kids to have a room? If I think I’m ‘rich’ with 3 rides, the other guy with 4 might think me poor in comparison. What then defines being rich or being poor? The absence of the other?

What if I really don’t love you, does it mean I hate you? What do you call that feeling that is neither love nor hatred? So, at what point can I say I stopped hating you and started to love you? But what if I never hated you to start with? That then means that love isn’t the absence of hatred! Besides, I could love you just a bit even though I hate you so bad!!!

When can I say our relationship has stopped being sweet and has become bitter? Isn’t there a place where it’s neither sweet nor bitter, like it’s just there?! Don’t tell me it’s ‘bitter-sweet’ ‘cos that would mean it’s a little sweet and a little bitter at the same time. What I’m asking here is what you call it when it’s neither of both!

So I’m not Agbani Darego, neither am I Omowunmi Akinifesi, but that most def does not make me ugly!!! Yeah, yeah, I’m not drop dead gorgeous or a traffic stopper, but then, I’m no ogre! So what’s the defining line? I’m not beautiful, neither am I ugly, what do you call me then? P;retty? Well, that would have been okay but for just one problem, I don’t think I would make even page two ofr the Sun Newspaper!!! But hey, I’M NOT UGLY!!! I’m just not pretty or beautiful! So, what am I?

Big question: Is feeling in the dumps such a bad thing?! Woke up this morning in the pits and I actually put down 7 different articles today alone! Yeah, you got that right, my pen didn’t pause all day and the thoughts kept flowing when I haven’t put down a single dot in over a month! Talk about a good and effective cure for writer’s block!!!

Thank God someone gave ‘Grey’ a name! But, come to think of it, there are several shades of grey; plenni’o’ white with just a pinch ‘o’ black, all blacky-black with almost no white, what makes it grey? Or at what point does it stop being grey but all black?!

Phew! And here I was, thinking that all the Mack Plancks and Einsteins of the world were very complicated guys!!!

Silly Things I still do!

I love Choco Milo! Hmmmmmmmnnnnnn, yummy, chocolatey cubes of ecstacy!!! The other day, I bought a whole packet (God bless Yem-Yem!) and I cuddled up with a novel until my fingers touched the bottom of the packet! Thank God it was late in the night by then, else, I would have gone out fir a re-fill!


I still watch cartoons and they still capture my entire mind; Pinkie and The Brain, Adventures of Teddy Rocksped, the whole Walt Disney thingy, Inspector Gadget, Justice League, Secret Squirrel, Danger Mouse, Super Ted, name it! They still hold me spell bound and when I’m into one, I’m lost to the world!

If I can get my hands on any Enid Blyton books, omo, I’ll stay up all night till I finish them! Gee, I still catch myself day-dreaming about my adventures with the Famous Five, flying away on the Flying Chair, being one of the toys in the nursery with Amelia Jane, the Three Gollies and the spinning top, visiting the Enchanted Woods and The Magic Faraway Tree, gee, I remember Moon Face, The Angry Pixie, The Saucepan Man, Dame Wash-a-lot, the Snoozy Goon, the pixies, brownies, gnomes and goblins. A part of me still hopes to see a fairy one day...

I still love to break up my wafers length-wise and scrape off the filling with my teeth! Gosh, I know that is so, so silly, but it doesn’t stop me from doing it!

I still love my Teddies! There really are some things you CAN’T grow out of!!! I wonder what my Niece and Nephew will think of Aunt Tope!

I still catch myself avoiding mirrors during thunderstorms! Can’t really remember what they told us would happen if you looked in a mirror and lightening struck, but that particular superstition stuck.

I still sub-consciously say in my mind “Thank You God, thank you Daddy, thank you Mummy, foolish satan” before meals. Some habits die hard!

Despite all the science classes I’ve taken, all the exams I’ve sweated through and all the books I’ve read, I still like to believe that stars are bugs stuck in the sky. That kinda makes life a lot less complicated, right?!

I most definitely still avoid sticking out my hands in the rain. As kids, we were told that if we did and thunder struck, our fingers would become gnarled! I know that’s ridiculous, but it sure doesn’t stop me from shuddering at the thought...

I still crush my biscuit to powder in its packet (gosh, I miss the round Okin!) with the heel of my hand, then I pinch a corner of the packet and suck the biscuit-powder out through it. As always, I end up with a gooey paste around the little opening which I usually scrape out with my finger. Hmmmnnnnn...the gooey saliva-biscuit paste is usually the best part of it! (You can bet I don’t ever let anyone see me doing this!!!)

I still do calculations on my left palm with my pen! That awful habit didn’t die out in primary five! And when I’m lost in thought, I still paint my nails with my pen!

I still misplace my earrings and sometimes forget to put them on in the mornings. Maybe like my mother did all those years ago, I should stop buying Tope new ones...

I still pull out my chewing gum as far as it will stretch and then slop it back into my mouth with my tongue!

I still like to make ‘drinking-garri’ out of eba and cold water rather than eat the eba, yuck!

I still believe I’m the rider of the Blue Lion in Voltron...

I still believe Yellow is the ‘fine girl’ and Blue is the ‘fine boy’ and Pink is the ‘bad girl’ who wants to snatch Blue from Yellow and that Red is her wicked, scheming mother! (for me as a kid, all the colors had their own personalities and were super-heroes and villains!)

I still pick my nose, even though I don’t eat the goo like I used to as a kid!!! (I can’t believe I just wrote that!)

Well, I don’t actually believe in the Tooth Fairy or the Boogey Man any more, but I know for sure that God and the devil are real, I know with a certainty that Angels and demons exist and that there is Heaven and hell...

...And then came Heaven...

If what you thought was the truth is a lie?
If what you thought would keep on breathing has died.....
                                                              .................Mandisa.


Those were the truths slapping me in the face.
I'd been wrong all along and I realized that there was no 'truth'
'cos everything had been one big lie!
I'd been wrong on every count and in every way possible
and there I was, sitting with my big, empty basket.
I'd put my all into the basket and it had all run out, wasted.
 I learned the hard way that you don't put water in a basket!
I ended up just as empty as that basket.
I'd spent myself chasing the wind,
you know, it came with several different faces but it was all the same really
and no matter what I did or how I did it, it was always still a big, big lie.
In my arms I had the carcass of my dream,
it had died a million deaths in a million different ways
 and I had nothing left on the inside of me,
nothing left to give,
nothing left to offer,
I'd been washed out
and wrung out,
finished,
dead and gone...
Sigh!
Right there you found me,
and you didn't look through me like everyone else,
you were not repulsed by me and my baggage,
still I wonder what you saw,
'cos you called this bag of bones Beautiful,
You claimed the sun rose in my haunted eyes,
You said my nothing was more than enough for you,
But let me tell you what I saw!
You were too good to be true,
another lie in true clothing,
You couldn't possibly be real,
Your kind does not exist,
at least, not in my world!
You were too good for me,
I'd been told I didn't deserve such and experience told me that was the truth, my only truth,
All I would do was taint your beauty and purity and innocence,
You deserve so much more than this pathetic pile of bones,
so much more than I could give,
so much more than I could ever hope to be,
how could one such as I
have one such as you?!
So I fled!
'cos I didn't want you to ever know my kinda reality,
'cos I didn't want your beautiful heart to become callused like mine,
'cos deep down I knew I wasn't good enough,
with nothing to offer but a stream flowing with bitter waters.....
But you just wouldn't let me go!
I wondered why you were so stubborn!
why get yourself burned, 'cos that was sure to be the outcome,
I would poison you with my bitter waters,
I would drain you of life and empty you into my very empty basket!
soon you would become like me, with just carcasses of your dreams!
But still you held on, you still came after me,
opening every door I shut,
pulling down the walls I built,
breaking down the barriers I put up,
Insisting on seeing the light,
Insisting on feeling the love I had forgotten how to give,
Insisting my bitter waters were sweet wine,
then I realized,
that what I thought was the truth was a lie!
And the death I thought would keep on breathing had died.....

Lab-Dash!!!

As usual, I was late! I’d been in the library, where I was supposed to have been completing my lab report, but somewhere along the way, I’d had another brilliant idea and had started to put it down.

30 mins I’d thought, just 30 mins and I’ll have it all down and then I’ll go back to the report, pretty please! I just had to put it down right then! So, I’d started to write and by the time I’d finally un-stuck my nose from my tattered little jotter, the library was empty and the librarian was frowning down at me over the rims of her ancient glasses. Where had the time flown?! The last I’d checked, it’d been a few minutes before noon and….
…that was when I’d almost had the heart attack, and I’m serious this time, it was for real, I really did almost have one! I had missed two classes and was going to be late for my lab! I vaguely remembered my friend telling me it was time to leave, that was when? One, two, three hours ago?! Why hadn’t she called me?! Then I started to search for my phone…where was the blasted thing when you need it?! The librarian cleared her throat then and I remembered then that she was still in existence. I hurriedly swept all my books into my back pack, I’ll sort them out later I thought.
So, there I was, making a mad dash from Engineering library towards the Transformer lab, praying that the doors hadn’t yet been closed. I was almost 20 minutes late! I’d been late the week before and….Oh shoot! I hadn’t gotten round to finishing the report! I’d forgotten all about it until the last minute and then I’d gone ahead and paused for just 30 minutes to put down my latest crazy story! But men, it’d been worth it because……
…….and I ran smack into a solid wall of muscles and I went tumbling into an unceremonious heap on the floor! And I realised rather too late that I’d forgotten to zip up my back pack, again! Yeah, you got that right, all my books, along with a whole lot of junk I didn’t even recognize tumbled out around a very dazed and winded me! I sat there for a moment on my behind, trying to gather my wits about me.
“I’m so sorry.”
I looked up then at the muscle-wall. Even though he was on his haunches, gathering up my junk, I still had to look up at him. Am I that tiny?! a silly part of my mind wondered before it finally occurred to me that I wasn’t just on my royal behind, but I was almost out flat on my very un-royal back! For the very first time in my life, I was truly embarrassed! Or so I thought until I struggled to sit up and I saw just what the contents of my back pack were! Then, I really had an idea of what it must feel like to be embarrassed! What on earth is that Ben-ten comic doing in my bag?! And where had that half-eaten apple been hiding when my tummy had been rumbling in the library?! I felt my cheeks grow hot and if I’d been white like I’ve often dreamed,, I would have been as red as a tomato!
I scrambled onto my hands and knees, trying to get to my junk before he could.
“ ehm….. thanks……here, I’ve got that….” I babbled on, what?! I thought I threw that beetle away!
“I’m really sorry” he said again, smiling apologetically at me. “I didn’t expect anyone to come flying around the corner like that!”
I frowned at him then, forgetting for the moment that we were right there on the floor, with the whole of the Engineering Faculty flowing around us. He looked so, so familiar and I had that annoying feeling, like a worrisome itch in the middle of my back, just beyond reach! I was sure I knew him from somewhere, but for the life of me, I couldn't just remember where from!
"Do I know you from somewhere?" He asked me smiling, with that knowing look on his face, like he was reading my mind, and for some reason, it didn't annoy me.
"Your face looks rather familiar" He continued, smiling and looking all self satisfied, like he was in on some private joke. And I wasn't loosing a fuse! Wierd!
"Well," I said, "Yours does too."
He took my elbow and helped me up.
"Are you an Engineering student?" I asked, collecting my junk from him absent mindedly.
"No" He said, still smiling.
Damn! Smug or not, that smile could kill!
"Hmmmnnn...what faculty then?"
My mind had already started cooking up another crazy story just looking at that beautiful smile, and his eyes, damn his luvly brown eyes! They would be my final undoing!

"I'm not a student here." He said
"Oh." My baloon was deflated instantly. "I must have been mistaken then."
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"So why are you here?" I asked, imagining a jelous girlfriend tearing my eyes out, trust Unilag chicks!
"I'm here for a show at the main audi..."
And that ticked me off again! My favourite artiste was having a show in school that day and I was going to be stuck with some stuffy lab work! That had had me pissed for so long now, especially...
"OMG!!!" My hands flew to my face and my junk ended up right back on the floor.
"My lab! I'm late!"
He gave me an amused look, "What...."
I realised rather belatedly that my lab report was part of the pile on the floor.
"I'm in for it this time! Awww men, how bad can today get?!"
And my dear prince charming, with the dazzling smile and pretty brown eyes had to guts to start laughing! I wonder what was so funny about the big mess I was in 'cos crazy me joined him! We both ended up back on our haunches, laughing like two idiots, and picking up my junk!

"I'm Dapo." He finally said when our laughter had subsided.
"Moyosola" I said taking his proffered hand. "Everyone calls me Moe though."
"It was nice meeting you." He said, starting to chuckle.
"Same here." I said smiling.
"I bet if we tried hard enough, we would eventually find out just how and from where we know each other." He continued.
"You bet!" I returned.
"Really!"
"Really?!"
"Of course!"
I started to laugh again.
"A movie would be a good start." He said.
"Well, that would depend on..."
"I'll call you up after the show tonight."
I raised an eyebrow, he really must be feeling so sure of himself oh! The next thing I knew was he was punching a number onto a phone that looked so much like my phone! Where had the blasted thing materialised from?! Last I knew was that I had been looking for it in the library! His phone rang and he brought it out of his pocket.
"Wha..." my mouth dropped open.
"You really should get going for your lab" He said, obviously storing my number on his phone.
Yet again, I din't get ticked off like I would have on a normal day. This particular day was far from normal! He helped me up again and handed my phone to me.
"I'll call you.' He said again.
There was still that feeling, like I was missing something just out of my reach but right then, I couldn't dwell on it, I really was very late already. I'll figure it out soon I thought as I bade him goodbye and continued my dash to the lab.
It was right outside the lab that the light bulb went on in my head. Right there on the bulletin board was a poster for the show taking place that evening. In the middle of it was a picture of my favourite artiste, I wondered how I could have missed it when it had been right there in front of me, practically biting off my nose! I gasped and for the third time that day, I lost all my junk again! I'd just met Da Grin, my all time favourite minutes ago!!!



Hmmmmnnnn, I should say this, everything here is totally fictional! Yep, I never met Da Grin (confession: I never even knew who he was until he died! my bad), Yep, I'm NOT that absent minded (even when I'm getting crazy ideas!), Big NO, I don't have Ben ten anything and I most def do not play around with beetles! Yep, I used to be late for labs in school, but never that late! and I guess I always finished up my reports at the nick of time! lol!!!

Nursery Rhymes!

Okay, confession time, I didn’t get to attend nursery school. Yeah, you got that right, no nursery school for me! I went to je ki’le simi! don’t ask me why, but I wasn’t born that long ago that nursery schools weren’t in existence (hey! I be ayounge!), I just know that when everyone else went to work or school, I had somewhere to go too! So, these rhymes are the rhymes I grew up with and they are what I would call Nursery Rhymes,as in…..if you happen not to know at least one of them then fogerrit! You no know anything! Anyone who didn’t at least get a taste of this missed out on something for real mhen!

We ki o mo
We ki o mo,
ge ekana re,
Jeun to dara lasiko,
Ma jeun ju, Sho gbo?!
(pls don’t ask me for a translation!!!)

Now, this next one is one of my favourites!
Olodo Rabata!
Oldo rabata,
Oju eja lo mo’oje,
Ooni lo paper,
Silati l’o ma lo,
Ore mi kilogba,
Odo, oju eja,
Shiki shiki shiki shiki SHAME!!!

Labe igi Oromo(I can beat my chest and say with confidence that ‘orombo’ means orange!)
Labe igi orombo,
Ibe la ngbe shere wa,
Inu wa dun,
Ara wa ya wa ya,
Labe igi orombo!

Mejo lasimi(I really, honestly have no clue what this one means!)
Mejo lasimi - Oya!
Mejo lasimi - Oya!
Yeye j’obire - Oya!
Baba j’obire - Oya!
On shorun eye,
Ojonla shorun eye - Oya!
Onshedi rumo,
Ojonla shedi rumo - Oya!

Pussy Cat(9ja version!)
Pussy cat, pussy cat,
Where have you been?
I’ve been to London To see the Queen,
London for what?
London for medicine,
Medicine for what?
Medicine for cough.
Are you coughing?
Yes! Mama,
Cough let me hear you,
Tun gboko, tun gboko,
Kpo-oh kpo-oh
Tun gboko, tun gboko,
Kpo-oh kpo-oh

Hulk Hogan!
Hulk Hogan show me your power!
Ghen!
Another one,
Ghen!
It’s a miracle,
Ghen! Ghen!Ghen! Ghen! Ghen! Ghen!!!!

Kinni?!
Kinni, kinni, kinni,
Kinni agolo butter,
Ti nko mo l’ole
Emi l’omo Daddy,
Iwo l’omo mummy,
Emi l’omo Muritala oh,
Iwo l’omo soldier!

Who is in the Garden?!
T’alo wa ninu ogba naa?
Omo kekere kan ni,
She kinwawo?
Mawa wo…..
(can’t really remember aw that one ends!)

When I went to London(special dedication to Rayo *wink* you know now!)
When I went to London,
I saw a little boy,
And he was making Alakoba!
Emeka making shororo,
Shororo,
shororo,
Emeka making shororo,
Alakoba!

Bata mi a dun kon kon kah!
Bata mi adun kon kon kah!
Bata mi adun kon kon kah!
Ti mba ka we mi,
Bata mi adun kon kon kah!
Bata mi a wo sherere ni le,
Bata mi a wo sherere ni le,
Ti mi oba kawe mi,
Bata mi a wo sherere ni le,

now, this next one was our version of Now the Day is Over, enjoy!
Now the day is oh-ohver,
Naitie drawin neh,
shadowsov de speeree,
sil across the sky,
Glory to The Father,
Glory to The Son,
And to be the Speeree
something, something, something (we used to chop mouth here!)


(Dunno what to call this one!)
Nigeria play football,
Nigeria win!
Babangida jump up,
10 kobo fall,
Buhari pick am,
go buy groundnut,
Babangida catch am,
Knock am for head!!!

Ile ya wa oh!
Ile ya wa oh!
Baba,
ami r'ele oh!
Baba!!!!!

Awa nlo!
Awa nlo, odigba ose,
kama f'iku parawa,
k'ama f'arun parawa

I don't know my house anymore...

Don't get me wrong,
I still remember where I live,
I still know what my addy is and I'm sure I can find my way there from most parts of lagos
and some others of Ogun..
and maybe even Ghana!
if my house were a person,
I wld say we have drifted apart,
and in this struggle for survival,
our relationship has broken down,
we have become bedmates who are strangers
and the fine details of everyday living
have robbed us of the love we once shared.
Like they say,
out of site is out of mind
and like a reflection in a rippling river,
my house is begining to fade from my mind's eye,
and one day I'll wake up and not even remember
there was something to remember in the first place!
and maybe I'll even be too tired to care
cos my feelings are being eroded a little at a time
and the gully will soon be too wwide and deep to cross.
I wake up every morning before day break
and grope about in the dark,
hurrying to get ready for another mundane day at work,
can't really remember when last I had power supply,
so my dear house has been blind for so long,
I don't evn get to see her before I leave in the morning,
not even a glimpse,
blame me for being in too much of a hurry,
blame my job for wanting too much,
blame nepa that I never have light,
not even a tiny bitty glimpse
and I'm usually too tired to care cos I'd had a restless night in the sweltering heat
and my mind's on the awful traffic I'm about to face
I drag my tired mind and aching body around all day,
without a hope of starting my return journey before dark,
too much to do,
too little time,
too few hands on deck
so,Ii get back to my house
my house who's been waiting eagerly for my return
like a lover looking out to sea on the pier
hoping,
longing,
expectant,
excited,
but me drags my aching body and tired mind to my door,
and gropes again through the gloomy dark,
kick off my shoes and dump my clothes in a heap,
I slump on my bed too tired evn to eat,
too depressed to care,
praying for sleep to drown out the reality of the next day being just like this one
and the next, and the next,
and my house goes unnoticed yet again,
the details lovingly created forgotten in the fog that has become survival
so I toss and turn all night in the heat
with the mosquitoes as my companions
my house looking down at me sadly
cos I didn't notice yet again
I didn't even see a thing,
my luvly pink walls
or are they yellow?!
I don't even notice if my feet still sink into the plush carpets
or did I strip them up and put in tiles?!
when last did I enjoy the view from the windows?
or the way the sun streams in through them when the sun peaks?
they are all just wisps of smoke in my mind now,
my tired mind drifting off into a troubled sleep
and in a few hours,
my blasted alarm will rouse me
and I will grope in the dark trough my house again,
and start the viscious cycle all over
cos I'm caught in this rat race that's meant to be survival
and my house will go unnoticed, unseen yet again
hmmmnnn, I guess my car is a tad luckier
at least, I get to sleep walk to her every morning
and so far, I've managed
to get us both to and fro in one piece,
while going about the drudgery
of life in Lagos
and every evening, I 'zombie-walk' from her
into the house I've stopped seeing....
I hope it's not too much
to want my life back,
I hope it isn't asking for too much,
going above my 'station',
cos it's not just my house that's begining to be forgotten,
but me as well,
maybe I don't even know me anymore,
maybe I don't even see me anymore,
maybe the reflection of me
is beginning to fade as well,
all in the name of survival,
and I have gotten to that place
where the the business of being has robbed me of my own being,
and has the process of living
drained all the life out of me?
I really don't know anymore
I just wonder now,
if I had been unfortunate
to live with anyone during this period
if I would have been writing this about that person
and not just my house
well, just anoda sad fact of life,
so, my poor house,
like the poor neglected wife,
is still there waiting...

Omo Dudu ati Omo Pupa!!!!!!

My cousin and I,
as different as night and day,
She, all 5' 9'' of grace,
beautiful ebony black skin,
complexion as rich as pure honey,
lovely, long black hair,
beautiful deep brown eyes,
chubby dimpled cheeks,
with rows and rows of lovely, even white teeth,
nestled between full, luscious lips,
as tall as she was nicely filled out in the right places,
Marilyn that was,
my graceful cousin Marylin
Then there was Sara,
"Kedu?!" they often called out to her in Oyingbo market
"Nngozi! my angel!"
"...Otutu oma!"
"Oyinbo, wa ra ata!"
"...Oginni...."
"...chai! Ahurumghi n'aya!"
But the petite, brown-haired girl always walked on by,
in seeming snobbery,
the greetings would turn sour and abusive,
little did they all know,
that all 42 Kg of the almost-midget,
understood not a single word
of their greetings,
and luckily,
their abuses too,
Golden brown skin,
almost red hair,
a breath away from being albino,
tiny feel and hands,
slight frame,
all of that and little else,
was Sara.
Sara and Marilyn,
light and shadow,
day and night,
midget and giant,
inseparable they were,
together we are,
thick as thieves,
Dudu ati Pupa,
Orobo ati Lepa!
both with our Britico accents,
strolling through Oyingbo market,
haggling over the prices of shombo and stock fish,
"I have too many of them on me!" Marilyn says to me in exasperation,
"I don't even know which one to choose!"
"E ra tolotolo!"
"Shoko re e o!"
"pomo nko?!"
"I wish they would all give me some space!"
"Lucky you!" I lament,
"no one even pays me any attention!"
"...Nngozi...." so I still had him on my case!
"Lucky?! You call me lucky? at least, you have a clear head and your sanity intact!"
"But what is the use of sanity when there isn't even a choice?! where's the future in that?!"
Alas, Dudu ati Pupa,
were one and the same,
in their dilemmas.
As different as we were,
Sisters we were in this Brotherhood
that we had been forced into by our circumstances,
we'd both received the same lectures from our mothers,
alike as we were different,
two peas from the same pod,
as identical as only twins can be,
and as if to mock us,
they found the center of us both,
neither dark nor light,
won o dud tabi pupa,
On the fence they sit,
like they couldn't make up their minds,
about what to pass on to their daughters,
who simply refused to look any bit like either one of them,
Sisters from the same mother,
Sisters in their own Brotherhood
the Brotherhood obsessed with
marrying off their single,
and gradually aging daughters.
So, here we stood,
in the middle of the market,
with the crowd bustling around us,
Nneka!
Adamma!!
Ebere!!!
They call out to Pupa,
Shade!
Omo to dun!!
Omo to shon!!!
They call out to Dudu
But with our British tongues, we lament on,
Issues so similar,
yet different,
But still the same fate starring us both in the face,
Decisions to be made,
out of choices too many and too few,
neither one easy,
neither one better than the other,
the sojourns in Oyigbo,
or those in Trafalgar Square,
too many suitors,
too few suitors,
no wedding bells!
no aso ebi and gele,
no idana and momi, nmo e!
no elaborate ceremonies to plan,
so even the peas in the pod
share the agonies of Dudu and Pupa,
so different,
yet so alike.....