Miss you loads...

I still miss you so bad,
even dou our relationship was turbulent at that time,
and we were both going tru our own stuff,
trying to sort our way tru lyf...
guess dt makes me miss you even more,
cos I keep wondering if I'd been the best I coulda been back dn,
and sumtymz it makes me feel guilty
cos I dnt realize I was wasitng wt little tym we had left,
was too caught up in my issues dt seem so petty in the lyt of tns now,
sumtymz I feel lyk scum cos I knw u deserved so much to live and I tk lyf 4 granted dn,
I knw if lyf were fair at all, it shoulda been me, not you,
you had so much to live 4, I dnt give two pins, tot I was ovr...
I still wishd we coulda talked, sorted tns out,
be laffing now about aw really silly we were dn,
maybe we would av grown into our friendship by now,
be better sisters, talk about the silly and important tns,
av our little squabbles, share our issues, 'Man' gists, plans, dreams...
I know now dt you'd have had my back during dz bad tyms
and you'd be avn ur smug look now when tns turned out beautiful lyk u'd always said dy wld...
I know 4 sure you wld av liked him so, so much and he wld av been blessed to know you
but I gs God knows best even dou it stl hurts so bad
and I stl wonder why it had to be you
and not me....