...And then came Heaven...

If what you thought was the truth is a lie?
If what you thought would keep on breathing has died.....
                                                              .................Mandisa.


Those were the truths slapping me in the face.
I'd been wrong all along and I realized that there was no 'truth'
'cos everything had been one big lie!
I'd been wrong on every count and in every way possible
and there I was, sitting with my big, empty basket.
I'd put my all into the basket and it had all run out, wasted.
 I learned the hard way that you don't put water in a basket!
I ended up just as empty as that basket.
I'd spent myself chasing the wind,
you know, it came with several different faces but it was all the same really
and no matter what I did or how I did it, it was always still a big, big lie.
In my arms I had the carcass of my dream,
it had died a million deaths in a million different ways
 and I had nothing left on the inside of me,
nothing left to give,
nothing left to offer,
I'd been washed out
and wrung out,
finished,
dead and gone...
Sigh!
Right there you found me,
and you didn't look through me like everyone else,
you were not repulsed by me and my baggage,
still I wonder what you saw,
'cos you called this bag of bones Beautiful,
You claimed the sun rose in my haunted eyes,
You said my nothing was more than enough for you,
But let me tell you what I saw!
You were too good to be true,
another lie in true clothing,
You couldn't possibly be real,
Your kind does not exist,
at least, not in my world!
You were too good for me,
I'd been told I didn't deserve such and experience told me that was the truth, my only truth,
All I would do was taint your beauty and purity and innocence,
You deserve so much more than this pathetic pile of bones,
so much more than I could give,
so much more than I could ever hope to be,
how could one such as I
have one such as you?!
So I fled!
'cos I didn't want you to ever know my kinda reality,
'cos I didn't want your beautiful heart to become callused like mine,
'cos deep down I knew I wasn't good enough,
with nothing to offer but a stream flowing with bitter waters.....
But you just wouldn't let me go!
I wondered why you were so stubborn!
why get yourself burned, 'cos that was sure to be the outcome,
I would poison you with my bitter waters,
I would drain you of life and empty you into my very empty basket!
soon you would become like me, with just carcasses of your dreams!
But still you held on, you still came after me,
opening every door I shut,
pulling down the walls I built,
breaking down the barriers I put up,
Insisting on seeing the light,
Insisting on feeling the love I had forgotten how to give,
Insisting my bitter waters were sweet wine,
then I realized,
that what I thought was the truth was a lie!
And the death I thought would keep on breathing had died.....