It all starts right here!
I took the pamphlet from her and drifted through the double doors with the other people around me. Absently, I scanned the pamphlet which highlighted the evening’s event. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I could recollect hearing about the Worship Concert, probably from a friend or from a poster somewhere around Uni. Hmmnnn, Israel Houghton, Matt Redman and Darlene Zschech. Should be fun!
I took the pamphlet from her and drifted through the double doors with the other people around me. Absently, I scanned the pamphlet which highlighted the evening’s event. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I could recollect hearing about the Worship Concert, probably from a friend or from a poster somewhere around Uni. Hmmnnn, Israel Houghton, Matt Redman and Darlene Zschech. Should be fun!
The auditorium was packed already, even though the
pamphlet stated that the concert wasn’t due to start for at least another half
hour. Lights blazed and pulsed from the stage which was already set with myriad
instruments. Music played softly from speakers placed around the space such
that it felt like it was in my head. Techies were tweaking sound mixers and
cameras mounted on tripods and heavy-duty arms. Men in suits and blade shades
spoke discretely into microphones hidden in their suit sleeves. The crowd was
buzzing around me and I felt a surge of excitement. I hadn’t been in a live
concert in a long while and the giddy feeling came back to me quickly. As I was
making my way up the stairs to the gallery to find a seat, a hand grabbed my
shoulder from behind. I turned around and was enveloped in a bear hug! Hmmmnnn, part of the warm welcome! I
couldn’t hear what my ‘welcomer’ was saying above the buzz around me, but he
was thumping me enthusiastically on the back, so I reckoned this has got to be good! Finally, he
released me and held me at arm’s length, beaming at me from ear to ear. At
least, that much I could see, I still had no idea who he was. I squinted
through the probing lights at the 100 watt smile and then gasped. It was my turn to crush his ribs in a bear hug!
“Dude, how have you
been?!” I asked, probably doing more damage to his ribs than he’d done to mine.
“It’s been ages!”
“Yes oh!” he replied
laughing.
“Wow! This is the last
place I would have expected to run into a familiar face!” I said.
“Small world!” He said
beaming.
“What’s been happening
to you Bro? And what brings you to my Hot Pot?!”
“Was in town on some
work runs and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see Kirk Franklin live!”
“Wha…Kirk Franklin?!” I
hadn’t even seen that bit on the pamphlet! Another bolt of excitement shot
through me. I love Kirk Franklin! It
really had been too long since I was at one of these things and I realised for
the first time how much I’d missed it.
We made our way to the gallery deep in conversation, trying
to hear each other above the sounds around us. I hadn’t seen him in almost four
years, since we finished up in Unilag. We’d been posted to different states for
our Service year and after that, he’d gotten a job with Schlumberger while I’d
moved to Houston for a second degree.
Our reminiscing was cut short when the worship team
got up on the stage to kick start the evening. We shuffled our way to two seats
close to the back as the crowd raised up a cheer. For the moment, I forgot all
about the good old Unilag days and if I’d been feeling the excitement before, I
became charged with raw electricity! It
really had been too long.
“Welcome to Church!” it
was Israel himself leading the first phase of the worship and it felt like his
words were a personal message, specially for me.
Welcome home.
For the first time that evening, I wondered about what had made me get
off the bus four stops early and why I’d ended up here. Well, at least, I got
to bump into an old friend. That was what I told myself.
“Doesn’t it feel good to
be in His Presence?!” Israel was saying, and the crowd roared its agreement.
“You know, we live in the days where
we’re too busy living life to actually live!
We’re in this place where the business of living
has drained the life out of us!”
The crowd went quiet then and his voice rang out clear and smooth over
the pianist’s soft accompaniment. “It is time we stopped, time we paused in all
our doing and just be still.”
I miss you.
“It’s time we went back
to The Author of Life Himself, ‘cos who better would know all about living?!
Who else could show us Life?”
It’s been so long…
“I love the way the
Psalmist put it in the sixty-third psalm. He said ‘So here I am in the place of
worship, eyes open, drinking in Your strength. In Your generous love I am
living at last!’. What we seem to have forgotten is that we find strength in
the place of worship!”
So what happened last Sunday? Or the one before? Or all the others
before?! Where were You?! Or is it
‘where was I’?!
“#…from beginning to the end, it will
always be, it’s always been You…#”
You’re so close.
Yet so out of reach
The electricity in the air became intense, became something else
entirely, something I can’t even begin to put to words. I wondered if everyone
else could feel it but the intensity was such that I couldn’t pry my eyes open.
I felt heavy and feather light at the same time and for some unknown reason, I had
the burning urge to cry.
I’ve been here too
many times before
“#…nothing else matters! Nothing in this
world will do…#”
The song seemed to swell until it filled every air molecule in the vast
space. I felt like it was in my head, in my mind, in my bones, I felt like I
was going to burst!
“#...and everything revolves around You,
Jesus You, at the centre of it all…#”
“It feels good to be in
His Presence, doesn’t it?” Israel asked at the end of the song. “You know, back
then, Moses said to God, ‘If Your Presence does not go with us, we won’t go
from here.’ Worship doesn’t have to be just about church and just when we
gather and we have the ambience and the surround speakers, the lights and
stuff. It doesn’t have to come just at the times when the word is powerful and
has stirred us into a frenzy! In Exodus 33, God said to Moses, ‘I’ll personally
go with you.’ If there’s anything you’ll take away with you tonight, let it be Him! If you desire it, He’ll personally
go with you into your everyday…”
Why did You go
silent! Why did You walk out on me?!
It was ringing in my head and I couldn’t shut it out. It wasn’t a thought
or anything that I’d consciously felt. It was more like a presence, like it was. Weeks and weeks of mounting
frustration and helplessness had finally found a face. I’d felt the deep sense
of loss without knowing what had gone missing, the emptiness had crept up on me
subtly, without warning, leaving me hollow and listless. I hadn’t really known
I’d been searching for something until
I’d found it.
“#...nothing in this world will satisfy, Jesus You’re the cup
that won’t run dry.
Your Presence is heaven to me…#”
Why have you put up the walls?
“#...Treasure of my heart and of my soul, in my weakness you
are merciful.
Redeemer of my past and present wrongs, holder of my future
days to come…#”
Where did this
chasm creep out from?! I never even realised it was there!
“Reach out to Him, touch
Him tonight.” Darlene said, taking over from Israel. “Let your heart touch His
with the sweet aroma of your worship.
#...Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in
His wonderful face.
And the things around will grow strangely
dim, in the light of His glory and grace…#”
I reach out but
can’t seem to touch You! Maybe You don’t want to be found…
“#...I’m desperate for
Your touch,
a glimpse of heaven
through the glory of Your Son…
…so let this fire consume
my life! Let Your love take me deeper
Draw me closer to where
You are, ‘cos all I want is more of You…#”
It’s so cold out
here…please…
“#... In the quiet,
In the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence, I know
there I am restored…#”
I’m so, so tired…
“#...when darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging Grace
In every high and stormy gale, my anchor
holds within the veil
Christ alone, corner stone,
Weak made strong in the Saviour’s love
Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of
all..#”
If You can still
hear me, please I can’t do this anymore…I know I can’t.
“Let’s just stop for a
moment to be still before Him…”
Later on, it would occur to me that I’d heard Kirk Franklin’s voice
without going all crazy! Maybe it was the fact that his words had been more of
a whisper, so unlike his boisterous self. Maybe it was because by then, we were
all so subdued and caught up in the moment. Or maybe it was just that by that
time, I was so unaware of anything or anything around me except for the One in
whom I desperately desired to be one.
“#...And when my strength has come and gone
Your life in me it makes me strong
Your hand is where my heart belongs
You take all my pain and erased every stain
Jesus, You’re my everything,
So whatever You take me through, I promise
you, I’ll spend my always with you…
… Your touch
Your kiss
Your grace
To me
Is deeper than my soul can see…#”
I’m here, always
here, closer than the breath on your face..
“#...You're the mender of the broken
To every outcast a friend and comforter
I come boldly to your presence, Lord I bow
before your throne
You're my healer, my redeemer, You're my
hope, my life, my all
You hear the cry of the broken
You answer the cry of the broken…#”
I love you…for
all eternity…
I love You…
“#...Whatever may pass, and whatever lies
before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes,
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find
Bless the Lord, O my soul, worship His holy
name
Sing like never before, O my soul!
And on that day when my strength is failing
Still my soul will sing Your praise
unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore…#”
Matt Redman finished up the evening with a simple prayer. The room went
quiet, not a thing stirred. I have no idea how long we were like that, time
seemed to have stopped and there was just that moment…finally, I got up from
the floor where I’d ended up at some point, and made my way out quietly behind
my friend…knowing I’m found in the light
of the aftermath…
