160714
Sometimes I try to look across this space
Sometimes all I see is the nothingness
This vast expanse that says I'm still not
good enough, never will be,
That no matter what I do or don't do, I
can't ever win (that whether I do or do not, I still lose)
And it's not the long, rocky road ahead
that stops me taking the first step
It's the fear of failing, finding myself
yet again in this place
Finding me yet again the prodigal, not even
worthy of the crumbs off Your table
But then Your grace carries me...
Sometimes I stand here, on the outside
looking in and longing
For the warmth and comfort of home
It seems the more I crave, the harder it
gets
I try so hard to catch Your attention,
strive to get You to love me,
I
cover up my flaws, paint on a face, raise my hands
Deep down, I still think mercy and grace
ain't for the likes of me
I cry and I beg and I scream and I rage,
turn away and do my own thing, say You couldn't care less
Still just this lost child desperate for
the Father's touch, searching for love in all the wrong places
Sometimes I find myself sitting on that
thin line again
teetering, free falling into nothing,
wondering how it is I'm doing this dance again
Wondering how I'll step away from the line,
wondering which side of it I'll find myself on; straight across or right down the
middle
Afraid of how long it'll be, a day, a year,
a moment before I'm right back here, toeing the line for the millionth time
Because there's that voice telling me it's
just a matter of time, be it even a life time...
