I like to call this first one 'Family Matters'. You'll find out why soon!
Johnny was a Boy,
About 30 or more,
who wanted to marry a Girl of his own.
He found a pretty Girl,
who suited him fine
and went to his father to seek for advice.
His Father said "Son, I must tell you this,
that is your sister but your Mama don't know!"
Oh what is this?!
Shame has come into the family!
He found another Girl,
who suited him fine
and went to his father to seek for advice.
His father said "Son, I must tell you this,
that is your Auntie but your GrandMa don't know!"
Oh what is this?!
Shame has come into the family!
So, Johnny was a boy with a broken heart,
who still wanted to marry a Girl of his own.
He found another Girl,
who suited him fine
and he went to his mother to seek for advice.
His mother said "Son, I must tell you this,
Papa's not your papa but your papa don't know!"
Oh what is this?!
Shame has come into the family!
So Johnny was a boy,
with a confused head,
so he went to their old Doctor,
to seek for advice.
The Doctor said "Son, I must tell you this,
Mama's not your Mama but your Mama don't know!!!"
Madam Go Home!!!
This next one, we used to act out, kinda like a dance drama and you can't imagine the laughs we got out of that!
The setting is that of a party and there's a couple dancing and having a good time. Someone walks up to them and speaks with the woman:
Madam go home,
your husband is ill!
If he is ill,
then get him some drugs!
(Her dance partner starts to leave and she calls him back)
No, no, no!!! come back dear friend,
just one more dance,
then I'll go home to my poor husband,
then I'll go home to my poor husband!
Madam go home,
your husband is worse!
If he is worse,
then get him a nurse!
No, no, no!!! come back dear friend,
just one more dance,
then I'll go home to my poor husband,
then I'll go home to my poor husband!
Madam go home,
your husband is dead!
If he is dead,
there's not much to be done!
No, no, no!!! come back dear friend,
just one more dance,
then I'll go home to my poor husband,
then I'll go home to my poor husband!
Madam go home,
the will is to be read!
(In shock)What did you say?!
I said the will is to be read!!!
(Tearfully) No, no, no!!! No more dear friend,
I can't dance no more,
I must go home to my poor husband,
I must go home to my poor husband!
The Girl Next Door
Jenny was the Girl who lived next door,
about 15 or 16 or more,
she wrote him a note one day,
this is what Jenny had to say:
Johnny, Johnny wait for me,
I'll grow up someday you'll see,
saving my kisses up for you,
signed with love forever more!
Johnny took a trip to the house next door,
to see Jenny and talk to her,
but her tears were like rain that day,
when she heard what he had to say:
Jenny, Jenny please don't cry,
you'll forget me by and by,
you are 15 I'm 25,
Jenny I can't wait for you!
Johnny took a trip from his little home town,
to find a job and settle down,
but his mind kept going back,
to what Jenny had to say:
Johnny, Johnny wait for me,
I'll grow up someday you'll see,
saving my kisses up for you,
signed with love forever more!
So Johnny took a trip back to his little home town,
to find Jenny and talk to her,
but his tears were like rain that day,
when he heard what she had to say:
Johnny, Johnny please don't cry,
you'll forget me by and by,
It's been 6 years since you left,
and I'm married to your best friend Joe!"
Yuck, dunno what to call this one!
Mummy! Mummy!! Mummy!!!
There's something in my nappy,
It's soft and brown!
I can't sit down!
If I sit I'll squash it
and you will have to wash it,
It's soft and brown!
I can't sit down!!!
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