Vertigo

I've been stuck here real long
feeling like I'll never live again, like I'm done in...
but then I decided to listen to You,
shake myself awake, dust myself up,
pick the pieces, back together,
no matter how hard, whatever it took,
but now it seems that every little step I take,
takes me farther away from You....

I miss you so bad.....
....wish things could go back
to how they used to be...

Broken Clockwork

I really wished I could get through to You,
cos it's urgent that I talk to You,
but the lines are jammed!
not even a crackle,
nor a buzz,
no whisper,
no tiny, silent voice at the other end,
no connection,
nothing!
How then do I get You to fix it
'cos it's broken and only You can?!

Heartless

heartless...

warmthless,

smilless,

joyless,

happyless,

funless,

lightless,

fullless,

purposeless,

plentyless,

tenderless,

beautyless,

dreamless,

feelless,

sunless,

loveless,

lifeless

...sometimes, I don’t want to be heartless,

I just come up empty with nothing to give....

Culled from the Secret Diaries of a faceless stranger.

Mary had a 2 - 1 - 1!!!

Was on Bus 211 this morning as usual, hating the cold and wondering for the millionth time who sent me message oh!!! Was settling in for the hour long journey that at first I had hated but fortunately or unfortunately I've become indifferent to, when this lady came on the bus pushing a pram with the cutest little thing in it! Lovely blue eyes, blond pigtails and a beautiful pink coat to complete the picture. She was probably as bored and pissed about the ride and the cold as I was 'cos she kept fidgeting and fussing until her mom gave up and ignored her. But rather than sulk like I did (my bad!) she started to sing. I guess she was bored with having a sweet, meek little lamb, so she decided to get a bus of her very own! So the nursery rhyme became:

Mary had a 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1


Mary had a 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1, 2 - 1 - 1


Mary had a 2 - 1 - 1....

she paused at this point, probably wondering what to put in. At that moment, our eyes met and we both dissolved in silly giggles! Yeah, you know, I got looks from the other passengers but I really didn't care and neither did she. I felt real good afterwards and the rest of the hour wasn't so bad. Imagine having to learn from a 3 year old how to loosen up and enjoy every moment, even a dreadfully cold ride to school...it was really humbling! So, now, Tipsy's got a 2 - 1 - 1..... :D

I'm sorry....

I’m sorry....

for every time I was too sad to smile, and too indifferent to care,

for the times I didn’t feel like talking and I just wanted to be left alone,
       wanted, needed you to go away,

for all the beautiful memories that the blizzards have dulled,

for the looks I have missed or simply failed to see,

for the times I have been too cold to feel the sparks, too tired to try,

for the times I didn’t believe the words ‘cos I didn’t feel them,
       wouldn’t dare,

for the times I felt like you were judging me and I resented you for it,

everytime I felt I wasn’t good enough, could never be,
       hating you for that,

for the imaginery monsters around every corner, behind every gesture,
       hidden in every word,

for all the blasted trips to the dumps,

for all the times I could have been happy but wasn’t,
       all the times we could have been...

for the times I didn’t think you would understand, didn’t trust you to,

for the times I’ve shut me in my cold walls, and you out...

for the tears I hid from you,

the lies I told to hide the pain, for trying to protect you from it,

for the times I hated me too much for you to love,

for not being what you thought, what you wanted, what you deserve,

for messing this up,

for being too selfish with my misery, not willing to share...

and worst of all,

 for having to end this,

for having to jump...