...And then came Heaven...

If what you thought was the truth is a lie?
If what you thought would keep on breathing has died.....
                                                              .................Mandisa.


Those were the truths slapping me in the face.
I'd been wrong all along and I realized that there was no 'truth'
'cos everything had been one big lie!
I'd been wrong on every count and in every way possible
and there I was, sitting with my big, empty basket.
I'd put my all into the basket and it had all run out, wasted.
 I learned the hard way that you don't put water in a basket!
I ended up just as empty as that basket.
I'd spent myself chasing the wind,
you know, it came with several different faces but it was all the same really
and no matter what I did or how I did it, it was always still a big, big lie.
In my arms I had the carcass of my dream,
it had died a million deaths in a million different ways
 and I had nothing left on the inside of me,
nothing left to give,
nothing left to offer,
I'd been washed out
and wrung out,
finished,
dead and gone...
Sigh!
Right there you found me,
and you didn't look through me like everyone else,
you were not repulsed by me and my baggage,
still I wonder what you saw,
'cos you called this bag of bones Beautiful,
You claimed the sun rose in my haunted eyes,
You said my nothing was more than enough for you,
But let me tell you what I saw!
You were too good to be true,
another lie in true clothing,
You couldn't possibly be real,
Your kind does not exist,
at least, not in my world!
You were too good for me,
I'd been told I didn't deserve such and experience told me that was the truth, my only truth,
All I would do was taint your beauty and purity and innocence,
You deserve so much more than this pathetic pile of bones,
so much more than I could give,
so much more than I could ever hope to be,
how could one such as I
have one such as you?!
So I fled!
'cos I didn't want you to ever know my kinda reality,
'cos I didn't want your beautiful heart to become callused like mine,
'cos deep down I knew I wasn't good enough,
with nothing to offer but a stream flowing with bitter waters.....
But you just wouldn't let me go!
I wondered why you were so stubborn!
why get yourself burned, 'cos that was sure to be the outcome,
I would poison you with my bitter waters,
I would drain you of life and empty you into my very empty basket!
soon you would become like me, with just carcasses of your dreams!
But still you held on, you still came after me,
opening every door I shut,
pulling down the walls I built,
breaking down the barriers I put up,
Insisting on seeing the light,
Insisting on feeling the love I had forgotten how to give,
Insisting my bitter waters were sweet wine,
then I realized,
that what I thought was the truth was a lie!
And the death I thought would keep on breathing had died.....

Lab-Dash!!!

As usual, I was late! I’d been in the library, where I was supposed to have been completing my lab report, but somewhere along the way, I’d had another brilliant idea and had started to put it down.

30 mins I’d thought, just 30 mins and I’ll have it all down and then I’ll go back to the report, pretty please! I just had to put it down right then! So, I’d started to write and by the time I’d finally un-stuck my nose from my tattered little jotter, the library was empty and the librarian was frowning down at me over the rims of her ancient glasses. Where had the time flown?! The last I’d checked, it’d been a few minutes before noon and….
…that was when I’d almost had the heart attack, and I’m serious this time, it was for real, I really did almost have one! I had missed two classes and was going to be late for my lab! I vaguely remembered my friend telling me it was time to leave, that was when? One, two, three hours ago?! Why hadn’t she called me?! Then I started to search for my phone…where was the blasted thing when you need it?! The librarian cleared her throat then and I remembered then that she was still in existence. I hurriedly swept all my books into my back pack, I’ll sort them out later I thought.
So, there I was, making a mad dash from Engineering library towards the Transformer lab, praying that the doors hadn’t yet been closed. I was almost 20 minutes late! I’d been late the week before and….Oh shoot! I hadn’t gotten round to finishing the report! I’d forgotten all about it until the last minute and then I’d gone ahead and paused for just 30 minutes to put down my latest crazy story! But men, it’d been worth it because……
…….and I ran smack into a solid wall of muscles and I went tumbling into an unceremonious heap on the floor! And I realised rather too late that I’d forgotten to zip up my back pack, again! Yeah, you got that right, all my books, along with a whole lot of junk I didn’t even recognize tumbled out around a very dazed and winded me! I sat there for a moment on my behind, trying to gather my wits about me.
“I’m so sorry.”
I looked up then at the muscle-wall. Even though he was on his haunches, gathering up my junk, I still had to look up at him. Am I that tiny?! a silly part of my mind wondered before it finally occurred to me that I wasn’t just on my royal behind, but I was almost out flat on my very un-royal back! For the very first time in my life, I was truly embarrassed! Or so I thought until I struggled to sit up and I saw just what the contents of my back pack were! Then, I really had an idea of what it must feel like to be embarrassed! What on earth is that Ben-ten comic doing in my bag?! And where had that half-eaten apple been hiding when my tummy had been rumbling in the library?! I felt my cheeks grow hot and if I’d been white like I’ve often dreamed,, I would have been as red as a tomato!
I scrambled onto my hands and knees, trying to get to my junk before he could.
“ ehm….. thanks……here, I’ve got that….” I babbled on, what?! I thought I threw that beetle away!
“I’m really sorry” he said again, smiling apologetically at me. “I didn’t expect anyone to come flying around the corner like that!”
I frowned at him then, forgetting for the moment that we were right there on the floor, with the whole of the Engineering Faculty flowing around us. He looked so, so familiar and I had that annoying feeling, like a worrisome itch in the middle of my back, just beyond reach! I was sure I knew him from somewhere, but for the life of me, I couldn't just remember where from!
"Do I know you from somewhere?" He asked me smiling, with that knowing look on his face, like he was reading my mind, and for some reason, it didn't annoy me.
"Your face looks rather familiar" He continued, smiling and looking all self satisfied, like he was in on some private joke. And I wasn't loosing a fuse! Wierd!
"Well," I said, "Yours does too."
He took my elbow and helped me up.
"Are you an Engineering student?" I asked, collecting my junk from him absent mindedly.
"No" He said, still smiling.
Damn! Smug or not, that smile could kill!
"Hmmmnnn...what faculty then?"
My mind had already started cooking up another crazy story just looking at that beautiful smile, and his eyes, damn his luvly brown eyes! They would be my final undoing!

"I'm not a student here." He said
"Oh." My baloon was deflated instantly. "I must have been mistaken then."
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"So why are you here?" I asked, imagining a jelous girlfriend tearing my eyes out, trust Unilag chicks!
"I'm here for a show at the main audi..."
And that ticked me off again! My favourite artiste was having a show in school that day and I was going to be stuck with some stuffy lab work! That had had me pissed for so long now, especially...
"OMG!!!" My hands flew to my face and my junk ended up right back on the floor.
"My lab! I'm late!"
He gave me an amused look, "What...."
I realised rather belatedly that my lab report was part of the pile on the floor.
"I'm in for it this time! Awww men, how bad can today get?!"
And my dear prince charming, with the dazzling smile and pretty brown eyes had to guts to start laughing! I wonder what was so funny about the big mess I was in 'cos crazy me joined him! We both ended up back on our haunches, laughing like two idiots, and picking up my junk!

"I'm Dapo." He finally said when our laughter had subsided.
"Moyosola" I said taking his proffered hand. "Everyone calls me Moe though."
"It was nice meeting you." He said, starting to chuckle.
"Same here." I said smiling.
"I bet if we tried hard enough, we would eventually find out just how and from where we know each other." He continued.
"You bet!" I returned.
"Really!"
"Really?!"
"Of course!"
I started to laugh again.
"A movie would be a good start." He said.
"Well, that would depend on..."
"I'll call you up after the show tonight."
I raised an eyebrow, he really must be feeling so sure of himself oh! The next thing I knew was he was punching a number onto a phone that looked so much like my phone! Where had the blasted thing materialised from?! Last I knew was that I had been looking for it in the library! His phone rang and he brought it out of his pocket.
"Wha..." my mouth dropped open.
"You really should get going for your lab" He said, obviously storing my number on his phone.
Yet again, I din't get ticked off like I would have on a normal day. This particular day was far from normal! He helped me up again and handed my phone to me.
"I'll call you.' He said again.
There was still that feeling, like I was missing something just out of my reach but right then, I couldn't dwell on it, I really was very late already. I'll figure it out soon I thought as I bade him goodbye and continued my dash to the lab.
It was right outside the lab that the light bulb went on in my head. Right there on the bulletin board was a poster for the show taking place that evening. In the middle of it was a picture of my favourite artiste, I wondered how I could have missed it when it had been right there in front of me, practically biting off my nose! I gasped and for the third time that day, I lost all my junk again! I'd just met Da Grin, my all time favourite minutes ago!!!



Hmmmmnnnn, I should say this, everything here is totally fictional! Yep, I never met Da Grin (confession: I never even knew who he was until he died! my bad), Yep, I'm NOT that absent minded (even when I'm getting crazy ideas!), Big NO, I don't have Ben ten anything and I most def do not play around with beetles! Yep, I used to be late for labs in school, but never that late! and I guess I always finished up my reports at the nick of time! lol!!!

Nursery Rhymes!

Okay, confession time, I didn’t get to attend nursery school. Yeah, you got that right, no nursery school for me! I went to je ki’le simi! don’t ask me why, but I wasn’t born that long ago that nursery schools weren’t in existence (hey! I be ayounge!), I just know that when everyone else went to work or school, I had somewhere to go too! So, these rhymes are the rhymes I grew up with and they are what I would call Nursery Rhymes,as in…..if you happen not to know at least one of them then fogerrit! You no know anything! Anyone who didn’t at least get a taste of this missed out on something for real mhen!

We ki o mo
We ki o mo,
ge ekana re,
Jeun to dara lasiko,
Ma jeun ju, Sho gbo?!
(pls don’t ask me for a translation!!!)

Now, this next one is one of my favourites!
Olodo Rabata!
Oldo rabata,
Oju eja lo mo’oje,
Ooni lo paper,
Silati l’o ma lo,
Ore mi kilogba,
Odo, oju eja,
Shiki shiki shiki shiki SHAME!!!

Labe igi Oromo(I can beat my chest and say with confidence that ‘orombo’ means orange!)
Labe igi orombo,
Ibe la ngbe shere wa,
Inu wa dun,
Ara wa ya wa ya,
Labe igi orombo!

Mejo lasimi(I really, honestly have no clue what this one means!)
Mejo lasimi - Oya!
Mejo lasimi - Oya!
Yeye j’obire - Oya!
Baba j’obire - Oya!
On shorun eye,
Ojonla shorun eye - Oya!
Onshedi rumo,
Ojonla shedi rumo - Oya!

Pussy Cat(9ja version!)
Pussy cat, pussy cat,
Where have you been?
I’ve been to London To see the Queen,
London for what?
London for medicine,
Medicine for what?
Medicine for cough.
Are you coughing?
Yes! Mama,
Cough let me hear you,
Tun gboko, tun gboko,
Kpo-oh kpo-oh
Tun gboko, tun gboko,
Kpo-oh kpo-oh

Hulk Hogan!
Hulk Hogan show me your power!
Ghen!
Another one,
Ghen!
It’s a miracle,
Ghen! Ghen!Ghen! Ghen! Ghen! Ghen!!!!

Kinni?!
Kinni, kinni, kinni,
Kinni agolo butter,
Ti nko mo l’ole
Emi l’omo Daddy,
Iwo l’omo mummy,
Emi l’omo Muritala oh,
Iwo l’omo soldier!

Who is in the Garden?!
T’alo wa ninu ogba naa?
Omo kekere kan ni,
She kinwawo?
Mawa wo…..
(can’t really remember aw that one ends!)

When I went to London(special dedication to Rayo *wink* you know now!)
When I went to London,
I saw a little boy,
And he was making Alakoba!
Emeka making shororo,
Shororo,
shororo,
Emeka making shororo,
Alakoba!

Bata mi a dun kon kon kah!
Bata mi adun kon kon kah!
Bata mi adun kon kon kah!
Ti mba ka we mi,
Bata mi adun kon kon kah!
Bata mi a wo sherere ni le,
Bata mi a wo sherere ni le,
Ti mi oba kawe mi,
Bata mi a wo sherere ni le,

now, this next one was our version of Now the Day is Over, enjoy!
Now the day is oh-ohver,
Naitie drawin neh,
shadowsov de speeree,
sil across the sky,
Glory to The Father,
Glory to The Son,
And to be the Speeree
something, something, something (we used to chop mouth here!)


(Dunno what to call this one!)
Nigeria play football,
Nigeria win!
Babangida jump up,
10 kobo fall,
Buhari pick am,
go buy groundnut,
Babangida catch am,
Knock am for head!!!

Ile ya wa oh!
Ile ya wa oh!
Baba,
ami r'ele oh!
Baba!!!!!

Awa nlo!
Awa nlo, odigba ose,
kama f'iku parawa,
k'ama f'arun parawa

I don't know my house anymore...

Don't get me wrong,
I still remember where I live,
I still know what my addy is and I'm sure I can find my way there from most parts of lagos
and some others of Ogun..
and maybe even Ghana!
if my house were a person,
I wld say we have drifted apart,
and in this struggle for survival,
our relationship has broken down,
we have become bedmates who are strangers
and the fine details of everyday living
have robbed us of the love we once shared.
Like they say,
out of site is out of mind
and like a reflection in a rippling river,
my house is begining to fade from my mind's eye,
and one day I'll wake up and not even remember
there was something to remember in the first place!
and maybe I'll even be too tired to care
cos my feelings are being eroded a little at a time
and the gully will soon be too wwide and deep to cross.
I wake up every morning before day break
and grope about in the dark,
hurrying to get ready for another mundane day at work,
can't really remember when last I had power supply,
so my dear house has been blind for so long,
I don't evn get to see her before I leave in the morning,
not even a glimpse,
blame me for being in too much of a hurry,
blame my job for wanting too much,
blame nepa that I never have light,
not even a tiny bitty glimpse
and I'm usually too tired to care cos I'd had a restless night in the sweltering heat
and my mind's on the awful traffic I'm about to face
I drag my tired mind and aching body around all day,
without a hope of starting my return journey before dark,
too much to do,
too little time,
too few hands on deck
so,Ii get back to my house
my house who's been waiting eagerly for my return
like a lover looking out to sea on the pier
hoping,
longing,
expectant,
excited,
but me drags my aching body and tired mind to my door,
and gropes again through the gloomy dark,
kick off my shoes and dump my clothes in a heap,
I slump on my bed too tired evn to eat,
too depressed to care,
praying for sleep to drown out the reality of the next day being just like this one
and the next, and the next,
and my house goes unnoticed yet again,
the details lovingly created forgotten in the fog that has become survival
so I toss and turn all night in the heat
with the mosquitoes as my companions
my house looking down at me sadly
cos I didn't notice yet again
I didn't even see a thing,
my luvly pink walls
or are they yellow?!
I don't even notice if my feet still sink into the plush carpets
or did I strip them up and put in tiles?!
when last did I enjoy the view from the windows?
or the way the sun streams in through them when the sun peaks?
they are all just wisps of smoke in my mind now,
my tired mind drifting off into a troubled sleep
and in a few hours,
my blasted alarm will rouse me
and I will grope in the dark trough my house again,
and start the viscious cycle all over
cos I'm caught in this rat race that's meant to be survival
and my house will go unnoticed, unseen yet again
hmmmnnn, I guess my car is a tad luckier
at least, I get to sleep walk to her every morning
and so far, I've managed
to get us both to and fro in one piece,
while going about the drudgery
of life in Lagos
and every evening, I 'zombie-walk' from her
into the house I've stopped seeing....
I hope it's not too much
to want my life back,
I hope it isn't asking for too much,
going above my 'station',
cos it's not just my house that's begining to be forgotten,
but me as well,
maybe I don't even know me anymore,
maybe I don't even see me anymore,
maybe the reflection of me
is beginning to fade as well,
all in the name of survival,
and I have gotten to that place
where the the business of being has robbed me of my own being,
and has the process of living
drained all the life out of me?
I really don't know anymore
I just wonder now,
if I had been unfortunate
to live with anyone during this period
if I would have been writing this about that person
and not just my house
well, just anoda sad fact of life,
so, my poor house,
like the poor neglected wife,
is still there waiting...

Omo Dudu ati Omo Pupa!!!!!!

My cousin and I,
as different as night and day,
She, all 5' 9'' of grace,
beautiful ebony black skin,
complexion as rich as pure honey,
lovely, long black hair,
beautiful deep brown eyes,
chubby dimpled cheeks,
with rows and rows of lovely, even white teeth,
nestled between full, luscious lips,
as tall as she was nicely filled out in the right places,
Marilyn that was,
my graceful cousin Marylin
Then there was Sara,
"Kedu?!" they often called out to her in Oyingbo market
"Nngozi! my angel!"
"...Otutu oma!"
"Oyinbo, wa ra ata!"
"...Oginni...."
"...chai! Ahurumghi n'aya!"
But the petite, brown-haired girl always walked on by,
in seeming snobbery,
the greetings would turn sour and abusive,
little did they all know,
that all 42 Kg of the almost-midget,
understood not a single word
of their greetings,
and luckily,
their abuses too,
Golden brown skin,
almost red hair,
a breath away from being albino,
tiny feel and hands,
slight frame,
all of that and little else,
was Sara.
Sara and Marilyn,
light and shadow,
day and night,
midget and giant,
inseparable they were,
together we are,
thick as thieves,
Dudu ati Pupa,
Orobo ati Lepa!
both with our Britico accents,
strolling through Oyingbo market,
haggling over the prices of shombo and stock fish,
"I have too many of them on me!" Marilyn says to me in exasperation,
"I don't even know which one to choose!"
"E ra tolotolo!"
"Shoko re e o!"
"pomo nko?!"
"I wish they would all give me some space!"
"Lucky you!" I lament,
"no one even pays me any attention!"
"...Nngozi...." so I still had him on my case!
"Lucky?! You call me lucky? at least, you have a clear head and your sanity intact!"
"But what is the use of sanity when there isn't even a choice?! where's the future in that?!"
Alas, Dudu ati Pupa,
were one and the same,
in their dilemmas.
As different as we were,
Sisters we were in this Brotherhood
that we had been forced into by our circumstances,
we'd both received the same lectures from our mothers,
alike as we were different,
two peas from the same pod,
as identical as only twins can be,
and as if to mock us,
they found the center of us both,
neither dark nor light,
won o dud tabi pupa,
On the fence they sit,
like they couldn't make up their minds,
about what to pass on to their daughters,
who simply refused to look any bit like either one of them,
Sisters from the same mother,
Sisters in their own Brotherhood
the Brotherhood obsessed with
marrying off their single,
and gradually aging daughters.
So, here we stood,
in the middle of the market,
with the crowd bustling around us,
Nneka!
Adamma!!
Ebere!!!
They call out to Pupa,
Shade!
Omo to dun!!
Omo to shon!!!
They call out to Dudu
But with our British tongues, we lament on,
Issues so similar,
yet different,
But still the same fate starring us both in the face,
Decisions to be made,
out of choices too many and too few,
neither one easy,
neither one better than the other,
the sojourns in Oyigbo,
or those in Trafalgar Square,
too many suitors,
too few suitors,
no wedding bells!
no aso ebi and gele,
no idana and momi, nmo e!
no elaborate ceremonies to plan,
so even the peas in the pod
share the agonies of Dudu and Pupa,
so different,
yet so alike.....

He kissed me!!!

Oh that he would kiss me,with the kisses of his mouth!For your love is more delightfulthan wine... ...Songs of Solomon 1:2



For the very first time,
he kissed me!
I was in his apartment for the first time,
his shot-gun apartment,
with the hallway straight through every room,
from the front door, to the back,
``pow-wow!`` I yelled,
laughing at him from one end,
and he laughed at me from the other end.
``Ahem`` said Monsieur Peter,
We were all three, like actors on stage,
acting out our lines,
in perfect sync,
there wasn`t a definite moment,
when the commercial came in,
no pause!
no warning!
no dry announcement like you have on channel 7!
each part flowed into the other so smoothly,
my petite frame perched
on the funny stool he`d brought with him from Africa,
my feet swinging over the edge,
like a naughty girl.
He said something,
and I laughed up at him,
eyes dancing mischievously
and then I knew everything had changed,
the way he looked at me then,
ahhh, the child wasn`t in the commercial at all!
just this woman,
all three and twenty of me,
and he the full grown man,
with a quarter of one more.
so, on my first trip to the Queen`s city,
all the way from the the Primate city
in his shot-gun apartment
overlooking the Thames,
Thames just like my Seine
he kissed me!
and it tasted like lemon drops
first the tentative touching of lips,
and then the silent affirmation,
of young, new-found love,
Ahhhh! two novices,
feeling their way through,
oh, but that was the sweetest of kisses!
lemoney-dropey!
Beautiful!
And I knew then without doubt,
like I hadn't known before,
that he loved me,
and wow! I realized that I loved him too!
All three and twenty of me,
And thank goodness,
the little child had been sitting on the oak stool,
from far away Africa,
because the woman,
all three and twenty of her,
had her insides turned to mush,
and would have lost her feet too!
He kissed me!
fore heads against each other,
I stared into his lovely brown eyes,
and I can imagine him
drowning in my green ones,
smiling like two looney bins,
I kissed the lovely dimple on his chin,
he bit my straight, pointed nose,
and....
...monsieur Peter cleared his throat,
Peter, his house mate in the Queen's city,
my dratted cousin,
who always lorded it over me,
because he was older, much older!
"I need your help with the heater" he says
and my dear Dimps finally tears his eyes from mine,
and drops his hands from around my waist.
Hmmmnnnn, when did they get there?!
Last I remember, he was standing four feet away,
laughing with me.....
...then I realize I had to drop my hands from around his neck...
"...has it gone off again?" he asks,
and the script continues without any break,
the commercial was over.
I put my fingers against my lips,
with that special smile on them,
butterflies in my tummy,
He kissed me!
Peter's going to be on the phone with ma mere soon,
but I couldn't care right then!
I made dinner,
and we three ate,
and Peter talked,
and we smiled at each other across the table,
while Peter's eyes shot daggers,
He kissed me!!!
and later he washed the dishes,
while I was supposed to dry,
but the little girl was back,
and she was sitting on the counter,
chattering,
and laughing,
and telling tall and short tales,
not wondering why monsieur Peter wasn't there, frowning his dis-approval,
the oak stool could as well not have existed right then,
this was the script
and the commercial was from another world,
along with that woman,
and then I took the next dish
from his soapy hands,
the kiss tasted like cappuccino this time,
two sugars and cream,
hmmmnnn, delicious!
He kissed me!
wet, soapy plate between us,
the smell of the Thames seeping in,
through the seals of the tiny window over the sink,
the blasted heater gave a shuddering heave,
from somewhere faraway, far, faraway,
and thank goodness I was sitting again,
cos I would have lost all my dinner,
my insides were mush again...
...and Peter cleared his throat again,
"...Aunt Mae's on the phone..."


hmmmmnnn, couldn't really make up my mind on what this was supposed to be, a short story or a poem, it just came to me one hot, sleepless night and I thought, well, why not?!!!

Haggard, Haunted, Hollow Hallways...

My breath comes out in ragged gasps, through parted lips,
lips cracked dry,
tongue lolling,
eyes huge and empty,
like black rocks in a gaunt face,
I claw at my hair,
hanging limp and dead against my forehead,
I feel like a mad woman,
In this big, empty house with dank, damp walls,
This big empty, haunted house
that is my mind.
I seem to float from room to room within myself,
from the hall of depression,
to the hallway of unhealed heartache.
I feast on the table of frustration,
pulling at my hair,
seeing shattered dreams through glazed eyes.
I drag my wounded ego to bed each night,
and cover up with affliction,
I wake up every morning to greet affliction again.
I bathe myself in bitter memories,
memories that I still make myself believe are locked up in the basement,
I sit at my dainty vanity table
and put on my make-up-mask,
I paint away,
covering the fear,
the anger,
the bitter remorse,
and I step out with a pretty face,
the pretty mad woman! hehehehe!!!
Dear Sweet Jesus come quick!
I can't live in this house anymore!
Tear down all my wailing walls,
I'm done wailing, and weeping, and sobbing, and crying,
I've done enough of those to last me a million life times,
Break the chains of resentment and rejection,
and help me forgive all those who banished me
to this haunted house,
help me realize that by letting them go,
I set myself free,
Send The Holy Ghost in power!
Spirit of Liberty!
Spirit of Life!
I cry for You!
Spirit of Freedom!
Spirit of Victory!
Fight for me!
I'm free in Jesus' Name!
I declare the Lord's release to every part of me,
Suffering spirit,
Beat-down body,
Messed-up mind
Dear Sweet Holy Spirit,
Come and live in this house
Let the sweet song of Deliverance fill every room
let the sun come streaming in,
let it dance off every single surface,
till they all dazzle and shine!
Let Your mighty rushing wind blow in!
let it cast away the cobwebs,
the filth,
the stench,
the debris,
all the unwanted luggage,
come in and revamp my smelly basement,
I release the keys to You,
throw out all those awful, bitter memories that I've held onto,
all of them, livetrophiesupon mymantelpiece
I never want to have to put on the masks again,
I want to be beautiful from the inside out,
really beautiful,
like only You can make me,
Please make this house beautiful and pleasant,
fill it with joy and laughter and sunshine and happiness
No longer will it be called haunted,
or hollow,
or haggard,
because You will dwell here with me,
it will be not only Your home,
but Your Royal Throne as well....


Lines in italics were taken from Bishop T.D. Jakes' Woman Thou art Loosed Bible, which actually inspired the writing of this particular entry.....