My breath comes out in ragged gasps, through parted lips,
lips cracked dry,
tongue lolling,
eyes huge and empty,
like black rocks in a gaunt face,
I claw at my hair,
hanging limp and dead against my forehead,
I feel like a mad woman,
In this big, empty house with dank, damp walls,
This big empty, haunted house
that is my mind.
I seem to float from room to room within myself,
from the hall of depression,
to the hallway of unhealed heartache.
I feast on the table of frustration,
pulling at my hair,
seeing shattered dreams through glazed eyes.
I drag my wounded ego to bed each night,
and cover up with affliction,
I wake up every morning to greet affliction again.
I bathe myself in bitter memories,
memories that I still make myself believe are locked up in the basement,
I sit at my dainty vanity table
and put on my make-up-mask,
I paint away,
covering the fear,
the anger,
the bitter remorse,
and I step out with a pretty face,
the pretty mad woman! hehehehe!!!
Dear Sweet Jesus come quick!
I can't live in this house anymore!
Tear down all my wailing walls,
I'm done wailing, and weeping, and sobbing, and crying,
I've done enough of those to last me a million life times,
Break the chains of resentment and rejection,
and help me forgive all those who banished me
to this haunted house,
help me realize that by letting them go,
I set myself free,
Send The Holy Ghost in power!
Spirit of Liberty!
Spirit of Life!
I cry for You!
Spirit of Freedom!
Spirit of Victory!
Fight for me!
I'm free in Jesus' Name!
I declare the Lord's release to every part of me,
Suffering spirit,
Beat-down body,
Messed-up mind
Dear Sweet Holy Spirit,
Come and live in this house
Let the sweet song of Deliverance fill every room
let the sun come streaming in,
let it dance off every single surface,
till they all dazzle and shine!
Let Your mighty rushing wind blow in!
let it cast away the cobwebs,
the filth,
the stench,
the debris,
all the unwanted luggage,
come in and revamp my smelly basement,
I release the keys to You,
throw out all those awful, bitter memories that I've held onto,
all of them, livetrophiesupon mymantelpiece
I never want to have to put on the masks again,
I want to be beautiful from the inside out,
really beautiful,
like only You can make me,
Please make this house beautiful and pleasant,
fill it with joy and laughter and sunshine and happiness
No longer will it be called haunted,
or hollow,
or haggard,
because You will dwell here with me,
it will be not only Your home,
but Your Royal Throne as well....
Lines in italics were taken from Bishop T.D. Jakes' Woman Thou art Loosed Bible, which actually inspired the writing of this particular entry.....
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