Miss you loads...

I still miss you so bad,
even dou our relationship was turbulent at that time,
and we were both going tru our own stuff,
trying to sort our way tru lyf...
guess dt makes me miss you even more,
cos I keep wondering if I'd been the best I coulda been back dn,
and sumtymz it makes me feel guilty
cos I dnt realize I was wasitng wt little tym we had left,
was too caught up in my issues dt seem so petty in the lyt of tns now,
sumtymz I feel lyk scum cos I knw u deserved so much to live and I tk lyf 4 granted dn,
I knw if lyf were fair at all, it shoulda been me, not you,
you had so much to live 4, I dnt give two pins, tot I was ovr...
I still wishd we coulda talked, sorted tns out,
be laffing now about aw really silly we were dn,
maybe we would av grown into our friendship by now,
be better sisters, talk about the silly and important tns,
av our little squabbles, share our issues, 'Man' gists, plans, dreams...
I know now dt you'd have had my back during dz bad tyms
and you'd be avn ur smug look now when tns turned out beautiful lyk u'd always said dy wld...
I know 4 sure you wld av liked him so, so much and he wld av been blessed to know you
but I gs God knows best even dou it stl hurts so bad
and I stl wonder why it had to be you
and not me....

The Bells Toll...

He was to ring the Bells for every year of her life.
After the first ring, he paused for a moment after the reverberation ended,
the silence felt so thick he could feel it weighing upon him.
32 times he rang the Bells.
32 times he wept as the silence in-between enveloped him,
Tears for all that would have been but never will,
32 times his heart broke, each time more painful than the last,
32 times it became clearer, with shocking reality,
that it was over,
he would never see her again,
the delicate frame,
the dimpled smiles,
the beautiful hands,
those deep, deep eyes...
he'd lost her forever to the cruel hands of tradition.
For a long time after the Bells finally fell silent,
he simply hung onto the ropes and wept like a child,
only she wasn't there to comfort him.
He knew he would never forget the first day he set eyes on her,
neither would he forget that last day....
Slowly, with his head bowed low, and hie heart hanging even lower,
he inched his way out of the Church yard,
nursing hie heavy heart....

Hmmmnnnn, found this while going tru some pretty old letters. Wrote it way back in year 2000, (SS3 I guess) and twas meant to av been the prologue 4 a friend's book...we never got around to writing the book dou...

...Let us drink to the death of innocence
and the birth of "Maturity".....

Some people see the world tru rose tinted glasses, I fink I'm seeing it tru muddy ones ryt now.  :(

Awful nyt!!!! shld just shut my eyes or count sheep...remembered what Nene Kalu told me way back in Jss 2, "Don't count sheep, talk to The Shepherd..."

Can't sleep! :( So, I'm here, reading a really lousy novel while trying not to think of the million and one worries I've got ryt now...
Question: Why do I write best when I'm in the dumps or close?! Hmmnnn, gotta check dt out later.
So, I'm fighting a trip all the way to the bottom, then 2 silly cockroaches decide to do the kung-fu thang in my room tonyt of all nyts! where'd dy materialize from anywayz?
I hate having to fight at all, but this time, it seems like war! Just when I tink I've won, a bigger foe rears its head! But at the same time, I'm not willing to let go this time cos I want you for keeps so, so bad...so maybe somethings are so worth keeping and so, so worth fighting for....but I'm really getting wearied with this fight...it sure sucks! >:(
I'm so not looking forward to 2mao, (oh, it's today already) and I really wish I had a plan, something sure to work out or better still, I wished this problem didn't exist in the first place!
Gosh! I can see the scheme so clearly and everyone else tinks I'm paranoid! It's so infuriating when no one else sees tru the deceit and then Pink has the guts to gloat, rub it right in! Arrrrggghhhh!!!!!!
Y'all are beginning to annoy me and I'm getting sick to death of all the posts! it's like where ever I turn, I see the preening, gloating face mocking me! Can't you just see that its getting to me?! don't you care as well?! or maybe you've just been fooled by the scheming. I'm not even sure which is worse.
Right now, I just need some peace and quiet, I just want to be spared the whole crappy scenario, I just need to be left alone...but will that peace cost me the one thing I want and cherish the most? maybe I should just get the hell out, for good this time
Then there's the move, or should I say moves, to worry over, plus work sucks real bad and I'm so miserably broke and there doesn't seem to be any light in sight and then I'm back to you and this whole mess...
pleasssssseeee, this is killing me all over again and I can't even talk to you about it.....

Dear God, what do I do now? I was hurt at first, then afraid, numb with the fear, desperate, then came the anger, hot, white, burning anger. Right on its heels was the emptiness, the feeling that no matter what I did, it wouldn't matter, wouldn't help a bit, like feeling your life blood seep out through fingers graping a fatal wound uselessly... Now I'm just tired and I'm not even sure I have the strength to fight, so I guess I'm leaving this fight in Your Hands...dunno what else to fink...it was just meant to be the 3 of us, the Lady, her Lord and her Lover....
...a lousy post for the dumps. Looking on the bright side, there's hope that I don't write my best when depressed. that would av been depressing in itself!

I have a million more reasons to hate you than to love you....
...but I won't give you the power to determine who I am.

Silly Songs we used to sing!

This post is dedicated specially to my friend from way back, Nonye Nnachukwu who loved to call me Zogbese Lisa! (can't remember why). She always had these hillarious songs (goodness knows where she learnt them) and we all had some really goofy times singing them! Nonye, if you ever get to read this, I want to say Thank you! for those beautiful memories...

I like to call this first one 'Family Matters'. You'll find out why soon!
Johnny was a Boy,
About 30 or more,
who wanted to marry a Girl of his own.
He found a pretty Girl,
who suited him fine
and went to his father to seek for advice.
His Father said "Son, I must tell you this,
that is your sister but your Mama don't know!"
Oh what is this?!
Shame has come into the family!
He found another Girl,
who suited him fine
and went to his father to seek for advice.
His father said "Son, I must tell you this,
that is your Auntie but your GrandMa don't know!"

Oh what is this?!

Shame has come into the family!

So, Johnny was a boy with a broken heart,

who still wanted to marry a Girl of his own.

He found another Girl,

who suited him fine

and he went to his mother to seek for advice.

His mother said "Son, I must tell you this,

Papa's not your papa but your papa don't know!"

Oh what is this?!

Shame has come into the family!

So Johnny was a boy,

with a confused head,

so he went to their old Doctor,

to seek for advice.

The Doctor said "Son, I must tell you this,

Mama's not your Mama but your Mama don't know!!!"

Madam Go Home!!!

This next one, we used to act out, kinda like a dance drama and you can't imagine the laughs we got out of that!

The setting is that of a party and there's a couple dancing and having a good time. Someone walks up to them and speaks with the woman:

Madam go home,

your husband is ill!

If he is ill, 

then get him some drugs!

(Her dance partner starts to leave and she calls him back)

No, no, no!!! come back dear friend,

just one more dance,

then I'll go home to my poor husband,

then I'll go home to my poor husband!

Madam go home, 

your husband is worse!

If he is worse,

then get him a nurse!

No, no, no!!! come back dear friend,

just one more dance,

then I'll go home to my poor husband,

then I'll go home to my poor husband!

Madam go home,

your husband is dead!

If he is dead,

there's not much to be done!

No, no, no!!! come back dear friend,

just one more dance,

then I'll go home to my poor husband,

then I'll go home to my poor husband!

Madam go home,

the will is to be read!

(In shock)What did you say?!

I said the will is to be read!!!

(Tearfully) No, no, no!!! No more dear friend,

I can't dance no more,

I must go home to my poor husband,

I must go home to my poor husband!

The Girl Next Door

Jenny was the Girl who lived next door,

about 15 or 16 or more,

she wrote him a note one day,

this is what Jenny had to say:

Johnny, Johnny wait for me,

I'll grow up someday you'll see,

saving my kisses up for you,

signed with love forever more!

Johnny took a trip to the house next door,

to see Jenny and talk to her,

but her tears were like rain that day,

when she heard what he had to say:

Jenny, Jenny please don't cry,

you'll forget me by and by,

you are 15 I'm 25,

Jenny I can't wait for you!

Johnny took a trip from his little home town,

to find a job and settle down,

but his mind kept going back,

to what Jenny had to say:

Johnny, Johnny wait for me,

I'll grow up someday you'll see,

saving my kisses up for you,

signed with love forever more!

So Johnny took a trip back to his little home town,

to find Jenny and talk to her,

but his tears were like rain that day,

when he heard what she had to say:

Johnny, Johnny please don't cry,

you'll forget me by and by,

It's been 6 years since you left,

and I'm married to your best friend Joe!"

Yuck, dunno what to call this one!

Mummy! Mummy!! Mummy!!!

There's something in my nappy,

It's soft and brown!

I can't sit down!

If I sit I'll squash it

and you will have to wash it,

It's soft and brown! 

I can't sit down!!!