Somedays are such as this (2)

It all starts right here!
 

I took the pamphlet from her and drifted through the double doors with the other people around me. Absently, I scanned the pamphlet which highlighted the evening’s event. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I could recollect hearing about the Worship Concert, probably from a friend or from a poster somewhere around Uni. Hmmnnn, Israel Houghton, Matt Redman and Darlene  Zschech. Should be fun!

The auditorium was packed already, even though the pamphlet stated that the concert wasn’t due to start for at least another half hour. Lights blazed and pulsed from the stage which was already set with myriad instruments. Music played softly from speakers placed around the space such that it felt like it was in my head. Techies were tweaking sound mixers and cameras mounted on tripods and heavy-duty arms. Men in suits and blade shades spoke discretely into microphones hidden in their suit sleeves. The crowd was buzzing around me and I felt a surge of excitement. I hadn’t been in a live concert in a long while and the giddy feeling came back to me quickly. As I was making my way up the stairs to the gallery to find a seat, a hand grabbed my shoulder from behind. I turned around and was enveloped in a bear hug! Hmmmnnn, part of the warm welcome! I couldn’t hear what my ‘welcomer’ was saying above the buzz around me, but he was thumping me enthusiastically on the back, so I reckoned this has got to be good! Finally, he released me and held me at arm’s length, beaming at me from ear to ear. At least, that much I could see, I still had no idea who he was. I squinted through the probing lights at the 100 watt smile and then gasped. It was my turn to crush his ribs in a bear hug!

            “Dude, how have you been?!” I asked, probably doing more damage to his ribs than he’d done to mine. “It’s been ages!”

            “Yes oh!” he replied laughing.

            “Wow! This is the last place I would have expected to run into a familiar face!” I said.

            “Small world!” He said beaming.

            “What’s been happening to you Bro? And what brings you to my Hot Pot?!”

            “Was in town on some work runs and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see Kirk Franklin live!”

            “Wha…Kirk Franklin?!” I hadn’t even seen that bit on the pamphlet! Another bolt of excitement shot through me. I love Kirk Franklin! It really had been too long since I was at one of these things and I realised for the first time how much I’d missed it.

We made our way to the gallery deep in conversation, trying to hear each other above the sounds around us. I hadn’t seen him in almost four years, since we finished up in Unilag. We’d been posted to different states for our Service year and after that, he’d gotten a job with Schlumberger while I’d moved to Houston for a second degree.

Our reminiscing was cut short when the worship team got up on the stage to kick start the evening. We shuffled our way to two seats close to the back as the crowd raised up a cheer. For the moment, I forgot all about the good old Unilag days and if I’d been feeling the excitement before, I became charged with raw electricity! It really had been too long.

            “Welcome to Church!” it was Israel himself leading the first phase of the worship and it felt like his words were a personal message, specially for me. 

Welcome home. 

 For the first time that evening, I wondered about what had made me get off the bus four stops early and why I’d ended up here. Well, at least, I got to bump into an old friend. That was what I told myself.

            “Doesn’t it feel good to be in His Presence?!” Israel was saying, and the crowd roared its agreement.            

            “You know, we live in the days where we’re too busy living life to actually live! We’re in this place where the business of living has drained the life out of us!”

The crowd went quiet then and his voice rang out clear and smooth over the pianist’s soft accompaniment. “It is time we stopped, time we paused in all our doing and just be still.”

I miss you. 

            “It’s time we went back to The Author of Life Himself, ‘cos who better would know all about living?! Who else could show us Life?” 

It’s been so long…

            “I love the way the Psalmist put it in the sixty-third psalm. He said ‘So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in Your strength. In Your generous love I am living at last!’. What we seem to have forgotten is that we find strength in the place of worship!”

So what happened last Sunday? Or the one before? Or all the others before?!  Where were You?! Or is it ‘where was I’?!

“#…from beginning to the end, it will always be, it’s always been You…#”

                         

               You’re so close. Yet so out of reach

The electricity in the air became intense, became something else entirely, something I can’t even begin to put to words. I wondered if everyone else could feel it but the intensity was such that I couldn’t pry my eyes open. I felt heavy and feather light at the same time and for some unknown reason, I had the burning urge to cry.

               I’ve been here too many times before

“#…nothing else matters! Nothing in this world will do…#”

The song seemed to swell until it filled every air molecule in the vast space. I felt like it was in my head, in my mind, in my bones, I felt like I was going to burst!

“#...and everything revolves around You, Jesus You, at the centre of it all…#”

            “It feels good to be in His Presence, doesn’t it?” Israel asked at the end of the song. “You know, back then, Moses said to God, ‘If Your Presence does not go with us, we won’t go from here.’ Worship doesn’t have to be just about church and just when we gather and we have the ambience and the surround speakers, the lights and stuff. It doesn’t have to come just at the times when the word is powerful and has stirred us into a frenzy! In Exodus 33, God said to Moses, ‘I’ll personally go with you.’ If there’s anything you’ll take away with you tonight, let it be Him! If you desire it, He’ll personally go with you into your everyday…”

                      

              Why did You go silent! Why did You walk out on me?!

It was ringing in my head and I couldn’t shut it out. It wasn’t a thought or anything that I’d consciously felt. It was more like a presence, like it was. Weeks and weeks of mounting frustration and helplessness had finally found a face. I’d felt the deep sense of loss without knowing what had gone missing, the emptiness had crept up on me subtly, without warning, leaving me hollow and listless. I hadn’t really known I’d been searching for something until I’d found it.

“#...nothing in this world will satisfy, Jesus You’re the cup that won’t run dry.

Your Presence is heaven to me…#”

             

                 Why have you put up the walls?          

“#...Treasure of my heart and of my soul, in my weakness you are merciful.

Redeemer of my past and present wrongs, holder of my future days to come…#”

Where did this chasm creep out from?! I never even realised it  was there!

            “Reach out to Him, touch Him tonight.” Darlene said, taking over from Israel. “Let your heart touch His with the sweet aroma of your worship.

#...Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face.

And the things around will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace…#”

 I reach out but can’t seem to touch You! Maybe You don’t want to be found…

“#...I’m desperate for Your touch,

a glimpse of heaven through the glory of Your Son…

…so let this fire consume my life! Let Your love take me deeper

Draw me closer to where You are, ‘cos all I want is more of You…#”

   It’s so cold out here…please…

“#... In the quiet,

In the stillness

I know that You are God

In the secret of Your presence, I know there I am restored…#”

          I’m so, so tired…

 

“#...when darkness seems to hide His face,

I rest on His unchanging Grace

In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil

Christ alone, corner stone,

Weak made strong in the Saviour’s love

Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all..#”

          If You can still hear me, please I can’t do this anymore…I know I can’t.

 

            “Let’s just stop for a moment to be still before Him…”

Later on, it would occur to me that I’d heard Kirk Franklin’s voice without going all crazy! Maybe it was the fact that his words had been more of a whisper, so unlike his boisterous self. Maybe it was because by then, we were all so subdued and caught up in the moment. Or maybe it was just that by that time, I was so unaware of anything or anything around me except for the One in whom I desperately desired to be one.

“#...And when my strength has come and gone

Your life in me it makes me strong

Your hand is where my heart belongs

You take all my pain and erased every stain

Jesus, You’re my everything,

So whatever You take me through, I promise you, I’ll spend my always with you…

… Your touch

Your kiss

Your grace

To me

Is deeper than my soul can see…#”

    I’m here, always here, closer than the breath on your face..

“#...You're the mender of the broken

To every outcast a friend and comforter

I come boldly to your presence, Lord I bow before your throne

You're my healer, my redeemer, You're my hope, my life, my all

You hear the cry of the broken

You answer the cry of the broken…#”

  I love you…for all eternity…

  I love You…

“#...Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes,

Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul, worship His holy name

Sing like never before, O my soul!

And on that day when my strength is failing

Still my soul will sing Your praise unending

Ten thousand years and then forevermore…#”

Matt Redman finished up the evening with a simple prayer. The room went quiet, not a thing stirred. I have no idea how long we were like that, time seemed to have stopped and there was just that moment…finally, I got up from the floor where I’d ended up at some point, and made my way out quietly behind my friend…knowing I’m found in the light of the aftermath…